I notice you eyeing me from across the playground. Your disapproval is palpable, and perhaps even a hint of anger flickers in your gaze. I can see you exchanging glances with your friends, whispering like we’re back in high school. But honestly, I’m not bothered by your judgment. Not really.
You equate my role as a “cool” mom with being a “bad” mom, and it seems you’re eager to share your thoughts with anyone who will listen. But frankly, that’s your issue, not mine. I suspect you’re unhappy because my kids, along with yours, actually enjoy being around me. While parenting guides insist that you shouldn’t be your child’s best friend, I seem to be bending that rule. My kids aren’t troublemakers; they’re thriving.
Finding My Balance
Maybe my parenting style doesn’t align with yours, and I can sense your disapproving glare. And while I’d prefer to avoid your subtle shaming attempts, I’d rather you get to know me first. When I became a mother, I made a conscious choice not to lose my identity entirely for my kids. I adore them just as much as you love yours, but I also prioritize my own passions like yoga and running. I recognize that if I put my interests aside completely, I might end up resenting them, which wouldn’t be healthy.
Sure, my kids enjoy a bit of freedom. They make mistakes and explore their identities. They run around the neighborhood, and while they may not always be pristine, they’re perfectly fine. I’m not constantly hovering over them, correcting their every move or trying to mold them into perfection. Just because I don’t micromanage their lives doesn’t make me a bad mom.
Fashion and Self-Expression
You might roll your eyes at the fact that my teenage daughter and I share a similar taste in fashion, but that’s not your prerogative to judge. If I find a quirky top at a store like Forever 21, I’ll wear it without hesitation. I’m not concerned if you think I’m trying to look younger or if my attire isn’t considered age-appropriate. I’m comfortable in my skin, and my daughter appreciates it too—she occasionally borrows my clothes because they’re “cool.” This teaches her about body positivity and self-expression, both vital components of healthy self-esteem.
Sleepovers and Freedom
Wondering why all the sleepovers happen at my place? It’s simple—I don’t mind if they stay up late having fun. Sleepovers should be loud, chaotic, and filled with laughter. I whip up a bowl of popcorn and let them enjoy themselves. I’m the mom who unknowingly provides your daughter with stories to share. (“Remember that night when we tiptoed out to play ding-dong ditch?!”). Sure, I was asleep, but if that’s the naughtiest thing they could come up with, I’m okay with it.
So please don’t wake me up to check if your daughter replied to your midnight text. Isn’t it refreshing that she’s enjoying herself instead of fixating on her phone? And I know it stings when your daughter comes home saying, “Becca’s mom is so cool!” while you roll your eyes in response.
Different Approaches to Parenting
You have a plethora of rules; I get it. Yes, rules are essential, but ours stem from mutual respect rather than control. You believe being involved and setting rigid standards makes you a “good” mom, while I think the opposite holds true. Kids, especially teens, require space to make mistakes and navigate their own paths. When given that freedom, they’re more likely to confide in us. They need genuine people in their lives—those who can share real experiences without judgment.
When I recounted my own teenage missteps, like that time I got drunk at 15 and regretted it, your daughter found it relatable and helpful. I know you might not want to accept this, but she appreciated the honesty.
Support and Understanding
Despite your distaste for me, I want you to know I’ve got your back. When your daughter made an unkind comment about you, I stepped in. I also made sure she understood that conversations about birth control are better suited for you, not me.
So yes, I might be a “cool” mom, but I’m also here to support you.
Resources for Further Reading
If you’re interested in resources about home insemination, you can check out this blog post and this excellent resource for more information. For those looking into self-insemination, this authority offers great insights.
Conclusion
In summary, being a “cool” mom doesn’t equate to being a bad mom. I let my kids explore their independence while maintaining a close relationship with them. It’s about balance, respect, and being real in a world often filled with pretense.