A few weeks after welcoming my third child into the world, our daily routine began to take shape. Initially, she struggled with nursing, and I approached each feeding with trepidation. However, we eventually discovered a comfortable position, and despite some discomfort on my part, I felt optimistic about our progress.
Then came a Saturday morning that I will never forget. The baby was happily swaying in her swing while my older children played nearby. I was enjoying the rare moment of quiet with a book in hand when suddenly, I was overwhelmed by an inexplicable wave of panic. I could hardly breathe, and my surroundings became a blur. It felt as if my body were quaking. I dropped my book and cried out.
My partner rushed to me, alarmed, as I struggled to explain my sudden distress. In a flash, the sensation dissipated, leaving me feeling shaky and bewildered, but just as I regained my composure, my milk let down. “I think I just had a panic attack,” I managed to say before nursing the baby.
A few hours later in the kitchen, the experience repeated itself, this time culminating in me collapsing to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. My partner was there again, and once more, the panic subsided, followed by the familiar letdown reflex.
By the end of that weekend, I had experienced numerous brief panic attacks, each ending with a letdown. I was at a loss regarding what was happening to me.
Months passed before I discovered that I was dealing with a severe case of D-MER, or dysphoric milk ejection reflex. While most women experience joy during breastfeeding, the hormonal release associated with it can sometimes lead to distress. A healthy letdown involves the release of prolactin alongside oxytocin, which typically fosters feelings of love and bonding. However, if dopamine levels are too high, they can inhibit prolactin production, leading to anxiety and confusion. This imbalance can create a vicious cycle: low dopamine spurs anxiety, while excess oxytocin reinforces the memory of distress during subsequent letdowns.
While many women with D-MER experience mild discomfort, some, like myself, face debilitating episodes. D-MER is a relatively new concept in medical literature, and though research is ongoing, advancements in understanding have emerged since my experience in 2012. Now, effective treatments are available.
During my struggle, the medical advice was limited. Most professionals suggested I stop nursing, which felt unthinkable given my previous positive breastfeeding experiences. I endured five months of confusion and despair before learning the term D-MER, yet simply having a name for my condition didn’t equate to a solution. I believed I had to endure the pain for the sake of my daughter’s nutrition.
Now, I understand that D-MER is not a mental health disorder but rather a hormonal imbalance that can be managed with appropriate treatment. Those suffering from D-MER need not suffer in silence; immediate help is accessible, allowing them to continue nursing without fear.
If you suspect you might be experiencing D-MER, I encourage you to discuss it with your healthcare provider. Although this condition is still emerging in medical discussions, that does not diminish its validity. Providing your doctor with articles on D-MER can facilitate a productive conversation. Additionally, for those considering home insemination options, check out this resource for more information.
Remember, no one should have to feel miserable or confused while feeding their child. Emotional well-being is essential for both mother and baby.
In summary, D-MER can significantly impact the breastfeeding experience, but awareness and treatment options are available. It’s crucial to seek help and not to endure unnecessary suffering for the sake of providing nourishment to your child.