“Buying an elephant for a nickel is only a bargain if you need an elephant and you actually have a nickel.” My partner, Jake, often shares this saying with our children—and even with me. The reality is, we’re struggling financially, and no matter how hard we try, saving money feels like an impossibility. We dream of having an emergency fund, that safety net everyone talks about, but it remains just that—a dream.
We are part of the working-poor demographic, tirelessly working long hours for the little we manage to have. Yet, there are those who assume poverty equates to laziness or poor financial choices, suggesting that if we simply work harder, we could start saving some money.
In the classic American novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch wisely stated, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” So, allow me to share my perspective—come walk in my shoes.
Needs vs. Wants
For us, the distinction between needs and wants is a constant topic of conversation. What we view as necessities differs greatly from the perceptions of many middle-class families. For instance, internet access might be seen as a luxury; things like fancy coffee, trendy fitness trackers, or the latest smartphones are definitely wants, not needs. In our world, if it’s not essential for survival, it doesn’t qualify as a need.
Jake and I juggle nearly 100 hours of work weekly combined, just to secure safe housing, nutritious meals, healthcare, clothing, and reliable transportation. These are our true needs. Everything else is secondary.
Our Reality
Our date nights consist of snuggling on the couch after the children have gone to bed. Holiday celebrations revolve around my husband and I asking for basic necessities—like socks or work shirts—as gifts, which we then wrap up to keep up appearances for the kids. Instead of lavish birthday parties, we host “vintage” gatherings in our backyard, grilling inexpensive hot dogs and inviting friends and family over for a few hours of fun. I refer to my wardrobe as a “capsule” collection, which reflects the reality of owning just three pairs of pants.
We simply can’t save what we don’t have. We constantly seek out ways to cut expenses. While we remind ourselves we don’t need an elephant, the truth is, we also don’t possess that nickel.
Facing Financial Challenges
For years, we’ve hurried to get to appointments that allow us to apply for fuel assistance during winter months, standing in lines outside charities. There have been times when we were so desperate for cash that we had to dip into our children’s piggy banks for groceries to make it through to payday—ironic, considering we’re teaching them the importance of saving.
Yes, we feel shame. Who wouldn’t? Living in a society where the belief prevails that hard work guarantees success can be disheartening. Despite holding multiple jobs and cutting every conceivable expense, we still find it challenging to stay afloat. The American Dream feels more like a distant fantasy.
Finding Joy in Struggles
We’re financially struggling, but we’re also fortunate in many ways. We have a warm, safe home that feels inviting. Though our kids may not experience the thrill of vacations or theme parks, we creatively repurpose everyday items—from scrap wood to grocery bags—into art projects, ensuring they have opportunities for creativity and fun. Last year, we fashioned a beautiful treehouse from salvaged wood, all at no cost to us.
While we may be broke, we are resourceful. We can find solutions to many challenges, yet that elusive money tree remains out of reach. Just like that proverbial elephant and nickel, one must have the means before they can save.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, we are doing our best to navigate the challenges of financial hardship while still finding joy and fulfillment in our lives. It’s a difficult journey, but we remain hopeful and creative.