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- Ask the Mom: How Should I Talk to My Overweight Teen?
by Sarah Mitchell
Updated: Dec. 18, 2023
Originally Published: May 6, 2015
Dear Sarah,
I’m worried about my 13-year-old daughter. She’s carrying an extra 10 to 15 pounds, and it’s clearly affecting her self-esteem. She’s aware of her weight, and even our doctor has suggested it might be a concern, albeit with minimal guidance. I want to intervene before she gains more weight, but I’m also cautious about exacerbating her insecurities—especially with the rise of eating disorders among teens! Should I consider enrolling her in a program like Weight Watchers, or is it better to tackle this at home? We already maintain a healthy diet and keep junk food to a minimum, but she struggles with portion sizes and the temptation of treats when she’s with friends. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
-Concerned Mom
Dear Concerned,
I empathize with your situation! The teenage years can be incredibly sensitive, and it’s understandable that you want to support your daughter while also safeguarding her emotional well-being. It’s commendable that you’re focused on fostering healthy habits rather than just addressing weight.
You mentioned that your household is stocked with nutritious foods, yet portion control is an issue. It’s important to remember that even healthy foods can lead to weight gain if consumed in excess. Have a casual chat with your daughter about portion sizes and calorie counting without making it a heavy topic. You might say something like, “Did you know this bottle of chocolate milk actually has two servings?” This can spark a conversation about nutrition without putting her on the defensive.
Above all, emphasize health over appearance. Encourage her to stay active by signing her up for activities she enjoys and lead by example with your own healthy lifestyle. Create opportunities for family meals where you practice portion control and mindful eating together. Framing these changes as additions to her life—like new exercise routines or more veggies—rather than restrictions can help her feel more positive about the journey.
I understand your motivation to protect your daughter, especially since she’s already aware of her weight. It’s vital to avoid criticism and shame, even if your intentions are good. My approach is to model healthy choices and let my kids ask for advice when they’re ready—teens are often more receptive when they come to you first.
Wishing you and your daughter the best of luck, Concerned!
-Sarah
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