As a doctor and a parent, I’ve come to realize that certain expectations come with motherhood. You wipe tears, prepare meals, read bedtime stories, and tend to everything from messy faces to overflowing laundry baskets. There’s an unspoken role you take on: the Organizer, the Cleaner, the one who picks up toys and sorts through the chaos. And let’s be honest—if you don’t do it, who will?
But one day, I took a step back and thought, “Enough is enough.” Instead of striving for a spotless home, I chose to embrace the reality of having three joyful children. I made a conscious decision to stop constantly asking, “Who’s going to clean this up?” because the answer was always “You, Mom,” which only led to frustration and resentment.
Sure, I still clean, but I’ve altered my approach. Like many wise parents before me, I’ve decided to focus on what truly matters: keeping things that are absolutely necessary tidy while letting the rest be. This meant adopting a new mindset—one where I could accept that my home would not resemble a pristine magazine spread.
In the beginning, I had to fight against the image of the perfect homemaker—always impeccably dressed while managing a spotless house. I had to remind myself that it’s perfectly fine if things are a bit messy. I repeated this mantra until it became second nature: “My home can be lived in, and it’s okay if it’s not always clean.”
As I navigated this journey, I realized that I could either let my children enjoy their toys and the mess that comes with them, or I could confine their belongings to neat containers and impose strict organization. Take their stuffed animals, for instance. They often end up scattered across the room, used as building blocks for forts rather than neatly arranged decor. Instead of stressing over their placement, I chose to allow them to remain where the kids left them—an ever-changing landscape of creativity.
When you visit my home, you might wonder why laundry is piled high in the kitchen or why bath toys are strewn across the tub. You might think, “How does she manage this?” Well, the truth is that I choose to spend my time on experiences with my kids rather than on endless cleaning. I’ll leave the dishes until I have to resort to plastic utensils, and I’ve given up on scrubbing every mark on the walls.
Dusting? That’s a task I’ll tackle only when family visits. So if you happen to stop by and notice the dust, I hope you understand that my priorities lie elsewhere. I won’t sort through mail until it becomes absolutely necessary, and until then, it will reside on my kitchen table in disorganized piles, much like the toys.
This approach to cleaning has liberated me. It sucks up time and energy—time and energy I’d rather spend enjoying my children. Yes, my home is a bit chaotic, with books on the floor and shoes in a pile, but it’s alive with laughter and love. You’re welcome to visit, and if you want to judge me for my messy home, feel free. Just know that it’s clean enough for a happy life, and I refuse to feel embarrassed about it.
For further insights on parenting and home management, check out our other blog posts on topics like home insemination, where you can find resources like March of Dimes for pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re looking for guidance on self insemination options, Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit is a fantastic resource.
In summary, embracing the delightful chaos of parenthood has led me to prioritize the happiness of my family over maintaining a perfect home. While my house may not be spotless, it’s filled with love and laughter, and that’s what truly matters.