Pursuing your true passions and purpose is a matter I hold close to my heart, particularly when it comes to mothers. It’s all too common for moms to live without passion, settling for a life that fails to ignite their deepest desires. Instead, many of us endure feelings of burnout, stress, and emptiness, accepting this as our new normal.
In our commitment to motherhood, we often make countless small choices that chip away at our identities, leaving little space for the things that define us beyond being a mom. While our devotion is commendable, we must ask ourselves: what do we sacrifice in the process?
You are meant to thrive and embrace life fully, especially as a mother. How else will your children learn to live joyfully and purposefully? Yet, many of us suppress our passions, dismiss our dreams, and cease to seek purpose once we become mothers. The narrative often becomes: our primary role is to be a mom, and that should suffice. Over time, we may forgo hobbies and dream less, focusing instead on nurturing others. We assume that this is what motherhood requires.
Initially, it feels disconcerting and overwhelming, but we adapt to living with that pervasive sense of dissatisfaction. We become accustomed to it, believing it’s just a part of being busy moms. With work, relationships, and the demands of daily life—doctor appointments, childcare, and meal prep—how could we justify pursuing personal interests that might detract from our responsibilities?
Inevitably, we find ourselves longing for the things we once cherished: quiet moments, exercise, or that undisturbed cup of coffee. Resentment builds as we try to reclaim those lost joys, searching for a mythical “work-life balance” that promises to tame the chaos. Instead, we often end up feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and like failures, because we can’t seem to achieve everything we aspire to. We think that if we could just unlock the secret to balance, we could fulfill our obligations to everyone—including ourselves.
Let me assure you: attempting to juggle everything and give your best to all aspects of life is a futile endeavor. The more you strive to do it all, the more you’ll find yourself feeling inadequate, and the more you’ll critique yourself for every misstep. We often blame ourselves for not measuring up to our impossibly high standards, rather than examining our approach to life.
While I’m not dismissing the value of work-life balance strategies—I believe they can be beneficial—I think our fixation on balance is often a misguided attempt to alleviate feelings of failure and disappointment. Reshma Patel, founder of Girls Empowered, emphasizes the importance of teaching girls bravery over perfection in her inspiring TED Talk. She highlights how society conditions young girls to avoid risks and mistakes, leading them to strive for flawless performance in all areas of life.
From a young age, we receive messages that we must be perfect in our behavior, appearance, and achievements to avoid judgment and rejection. This relentless pursuit of perfection can leave us feeling isolated and inadequate, especially when we compare ourselves to the seemingly perfect lives of others on social media.
Many of us are not truly seeking balance; we are yearning for superhuman abilities that would allow us to stretch our 24-hour days into 48, giving us the capacity to achieve everything without rest or nourishment. The truth is, in the midst of all our responsibilities, we often neglect our own needs. This is how we lose sight of balance—we ignore our core selves, the joy and purpose that fuel our lives, and then we are confused when everything feels unsteady.
You will never achieve true balance or alleviate feelings of disappointment until you reconnect with your passions—those activities that spark joy and bring your spirit to life—and allow for purpose beyond motherhood. The paradox of motherhood is this: by nourishing your own soul, you become a better mom. This is not selfish; it’s a courageous act of love. Remember, as children grow, their needs will evolve, and if your entire identity is tied to them, everyone will suffer. Discovering interests beyond raising your kids benefits both you and your family.
For many moms, tuning into our own passions is a challenge. We’ve conditioned ourselves to prioritize our families’ needs, silencing our own desires for joy. Reawakening that inner voice takes practice, time, and a commitment to listen again. I’m still on that journey myself. It began with a weekly dance class, which felt indulgent at first. I hesitated but ultimately attended, and to my surprise, everything carried on just fine without me for that hour. I felt invigorated and more alive than I had in months.
Ultimately, I found that pursuing my passion, even in a seemingly small way, was more beneficial than obsessing over a lack of direction. I needed to affirm to myself that seeking joy was worthwhile before I could truly understand what my purpose might be. I encourage you to do the same. Listen to that part of you that craves joy, and trust it when it signals that you’re onto something great.
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In summary, balance in life is a myth, especially for mothers. Embracing your passions and pursuing your interests outside of motherhood is essential not only for your happiness but for your family’s well-being as well.