My son isn’t a brooding teenager yet, nor does he sport piercings or ink. He’s just a sweet, thoughtful 12-year-old with a passion for basketball and a love for Star Wars. So, what prompted the drastic decision to shave his head?
Jake has always preferred short hairstyles. He finds Marines to be pretty cool and appreciates the ease of not having to comb his hair. Whenever he gets a haircut, he requests the barber to bring out the clippers and give him a “one buzz, please.” I often find myself signaling the barber to stop, my lips forming a silent “not too short” as I nervously watch. For weeks, Jake had been persistently asking for the chance to shave his head. He seemed to believe it would be a bold move, countering our parental reasoning with his own logic:
- “You always say a bad haircut isn’t the end of the world.”
- “It’s my head. Why can’t I do it?”
- And the classic refrain: “You never let me do anything fun.”
My husband, Mark, recalled his own youthful struggles with hair length, which made our parenting dilemma all the more complicated. He once fought with his father over his long locks, vowing that when he had a son, he wouldn’t contest his hairstyle choices. So, Mark decided to embrace the idea—let Jake shave his head. “It’s a small act of rebellion for a small person,” he reasoned. We figured Jake might learn that not all wishes turn out as expected.
As I watched clumps of soft, light-brown hair fall away, I tried to suppress my anxiety. At first, Jake reveled in the novelty of his bald head, showcasing it to his friends who were astonished that he’d actually gone through with it. He basked in the attention, becoming “the kid whose parents let him do anything.” Meanwhile, I felt like the parent who had lost control. However, Jake soon discovered that being bald came with its own set of challenges.
Strangers would stare, probably speculating about some unfortunate medical condition. Girls, still in that “annoying” phase of young adolescence, began to bug him, asking if they could touch his scalp. To his surprise, he felt cold all the time. One moment he was in shorts and flip-flops, and the next, he was bundling up like his grandma suggested, constantly wearing a sweatshirt and relying on his baseball cap.
After just a few days, the initial excitement began to fade. Thank goodness! Mark’s plan was to let Jake indulge in this minor victory, hoping it would quench his thirst for rebellion. I was more skeptical, not believing that allowing him to shave his head would deter him from future teenage antics like staying out late or sneaking a drink. Surprisingly, it seems to have worked—at least for now.
This week, Jake has stopped pestering us about various restrictions. He had the chance to make a significant decision and appears to be less eager to take on additional responsibilities. His brief taste of autonomy has led him back to the comfort of our home, where he’s reached for a sweater. It seems that making adult choices isn’t as exhilarating as he had imagined, which is precisely what Mark and I hoped would happen.
Taking this small parenting risk—a harmless cosmetic choice without long-term consequences—has proven beneficial. Sure, I may have to deal with the judgmental glances from adults who see Jake’s bald head wondering what kind of parents we are. But we’re optimistic that he’s learned a valuable lesson. As he grows older, he’ll face plenty of opportunities to test his independence and understand the results of his choices. Because, after all, hair will grow back.
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Summary
A mother shares her experience of allowing her 12-year-old son to shave his head, navigating the challenges of parenting, autonomy, and the unexpected lessons that come with such a decision.
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