I kindly ask you to refrain from questioning my children about their origins.
My son, Zaid, is an Australian by birth, yet he cannot speak Arabic. He knows the Quran by heart but is also well-versed in the lyrics of popular songs. He embodies a blend of cultures, and I take immense pride in that. I wish to see my children appreciated for who they are, without being pigeonholed by others.
Far too often, strangers approach Zaid and inquire, “Where are you from?” I try to remain optimistic and label them as “well-meaning,” but each time it feels like a blow to my head.
What’s Wrong with Such a Simple Question?
You might wonder, “What’s wrong with such a simple question?” The issue lies in the fact that whatever his answer is never feels adequate. If he states “Australia,” he’s met with skeptical looks, primarily because I wear a hijab and he has dark hair and an olive complexion. If he says “Lebanon”—his mother’s home country, despite us never visiting—he is then bombarded with follow-up questions like, “So when did you come to Australia?” His response, “I was born here,” starts a loop of uncomfortable exchanges.
I ask you to please stop. Just stop.
A Recent Encounter
Recently, I encountered a particularly awkward situation during my children’s sports day. A woman I didn’t know approached me:
Her: Are you Ava’s mother?
Me: Yes, I’m Laila. Nice to meet you.
Her: But you’re wearing a hijab! And Ava is so clever and speaks English so well.
(At this point, I could barely contain my shock.)
Me: Yes, she’s quite talented. She hasn’t caught hijabitis.
I walked away, baffled. Why should my daughter be judged based on my attire? It’s disheartening to see that even in 2023, first impressions are often formed through appearance. Everyone has a story to tell—some more complex than others—but each narrative deserves respect. My children’s backgrounds may be intricate, but I don’t want my son to feel compelled to explain: “I am from Australia. I was born here, and so was my dad. My mother immigrated when she was three, but it’s practically like she’s a native. Would you like to see our citizenship papers? And yes, being Muslim doesn’t hinder my command of English.”
The unfortunate truth is that his friend Liam, who was born in Ireland and moved to Australia eight years ago, never faces this scrutiny. No one questions him because his name and appearance fit a more “acceptable” standard in Australia. One day, Zaid will notice this imbalance, and I will struggle to provide him with a rational explanation.
Teaching My Children
For now, I will continue to teach my children about the complexity of human experiences, emphasizing that life is a rich tapestry of stories. I will instill in them the belief that their worth is determined by their actions and that they belong to the larger community of humanity.
Further Exploration
If you’re interested in further exploring the topic of home insemination, you can check out this insightful article on intracervical insemination. For those considering family planning, Make a Mom is an excellent resource on home insemination kits. Additionally, the CDC provides valuable information about infertility and pregnancy.
Conclusion
In summary, I urge everyone to recognize and celebrate the diverse narratives of individuals, especially children. Let’s move beyond superficial questions and embrace the richness of our shared humanity.