I was lounging on the couch with my 9-year-old son, Max, ready to dive into a movie. He brought over his cherished Build-A-Bear Pikachu, a Christmas gift he had been inseparable from for weeks, but it had developed a couple of holes. When I offered to stitch it up, his expression mirrored that of a hostage assessing their captor. His eyes widened in disbelief, and he clung to Pikachu as if I might snatch it away.
“Dads don’t sew,” he declared, shaking his head as though I was violating some unwritten rule.
I sighed, glancing over at my wife, who was working on her laptop in the corner. “Dads can sew,” she chimed in. “He’s actually quite skilled at it.”
Max then attempted to hand the damaged Pikachu over to her, expecting her to halt her work and fix it immediately.
This behavior isn’t isolated to just Max; our kids often treat their father as if I’m somehow less capable of addressing their needs. Whether it’s fixing toys or fetching a snack, they seem to think Mom is the sole solution. I’ve overheard countless mothers express their frustration when their children demand they stop what they’re doing to fetch a snack while their dad lounges nearby. I can relate because I see this dynamic play out in our household, and it’s frustrating.
I love being a hands-on dad and want my children to understand that I’m more than just a paycheck. Whether I’m asking them to help with chores or just trying to lend a hand, it often feels like I have to convince them that I can help. If my wife is home, they seem to think my assistance is somehow inferior. I’ve even had Max refuse to accept a glass of milk because I got it instead of his mother, and it drives me crazy.
Though my wife, Laura, works part-time and is primarily responsible for childcare, I want our kids to know that fathers can manage household tasks just as well. When I’m around, I try to take on more than the traditional breadwinner role. But even something as simple as sewing up a stuffed animal becomes a negotiation.
I finally grabbed a needle and thread, insisting Max hand over Pikachu. After a brief struggle, he reluctantly surrendered it, and I assured him I could sew, thanks to my home economics class—something that seems to have been phased out. I didn’t mention my punk band patching skills, though.
As I stitched, Max watched me with wide eyes, convinced I was performing some intricate procedure. This was important to me; I wanted him to see that a dad can handle such tasks, which he had previously relegated solely to Mom.
I’m not sure where he got the idea that sewing is exclusively a mother’s role. I believe it’s crucial for him to learn that both parents can be nurturing and that there’s no shame in sharing responsibilities, regardless of gender. Men can soothe a child at night, handle household chores, and do all the jobs traditionally seen as a mother’s domain.
Over the past year, I’ve shown Max how to clean a toilet, prepare simple meals, sort laundry, and even help care for his baby sister. Each time he looks at me skeptically, I remain hopeful that he will eventually grasp the broader responsibilities of fatherhood.
After finishing the repairs on Pikachu, I presented it to him, proudly showcasing my handiwork. “See? Good as new!” I said, tugging at the stitches to demonstrate their durability. He gave me a half-hearted smile—a mix of joy and embarrassment.
“Next time, you’ll be doing it,” I teased, giving him a playful punch on the arm. He rolled his eyes, the typical response of a kid navigating the complexities of parental roles.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it’s essential for children to see that dads can be just as involved and capable as moms. Whether it’s sewing a beloved toy or preparing a meal, both parents have valuable skills to offer.
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