Attending a concert at Fenway Park last summer, I envisioned an evening filled with pure joy. After dreaming for decades about witnessing Billy Joel perform live, this was a bucket-list moment I had long awaited, especially following my successful battle with breast cancer in 2014. I was determined to see Billy in concert, and I expected it to be nothing short of amazing.
But amidst the thrill of the performance, something deeper stirred within me. Music has a unique way of transporting us through time, and that warm summer night, Billy’s voice whisked me back to my childhood—a time spent in a Pepto-pink room, where my mother would sing (albeit off-key) to “Just the Way You Are.” Suddenly, I was flooded with memories of a family life that felt like a distant dream.
What struck me most that evening was not just the music, but Billy’s transformation. The video screens displayed images of his youthful self, and the contrast to the man seated at the piano was staggering. I found myself thinking, “When did Billy become so old?” which quickly turned into, “When did I get so old?”
Growing up in New York during the ’70s and ’80s, Billy’s melodies were the backdrop of my youth. I proudly belted out the lyrics to “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant” at age ten and spent countless hours listening to “Vienna” in my teenage years. As he crooned about taking life slow, I was filled with a restless desire to fast-forward to adulthood.
Now, at 46 and a mother of two, I find myself confronted by these abrupt moments of realization more frequently. The sensation of aging is like speeding down a long highway, only to suddenly hit the brakes and realize, “YOU ARE HERE.” I often reflect on the passage of time, grappling with thoughts like, “Time flies” or “In the blink of an eye.”
The emotional weight of nostalgia often accompanies these moments. It’s a bittersweet feeling that can catch you off guard, as it did at the concert. I’ve experienced nostalgia in various settings, even while driving past my old university, Boston University. As I navigated familiar streets, I realized it wasn’t just the scenery that had changed—it was me, now a motherless mom and cancer survivor, with a vast expanse of time behind me.
I find the origins of nostalgia intriguing; it began as a medical term describing homesickness among soldiers, a longing for the past that has transformed into what we recognize today as a wistful yearning. When nostalgia strikes, it can feel overwhelming, especially at an event steeped in personal history like a Billy Joel concert. Yet, I also cherish the moments I share with my children—introducing them to my favorite songs from Run-D.M.C. or reliving classic shows like Scooby Doo and The Brady Bunch.
While I yearn for that Pepto-pink room and the chance to see my mother again, I’m not longing to relive the insecurities of my youth. At this stage in life, I feel more assured in who I am and what I want. Perhaps this newfound clarity is my personal “Vienna.” Right here, right now.
For more reflections on this journey of parenthood and self-discovery, check out this insightful post on intracervicalinsemination.org. If you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reliable syringe kits to help you on that path. Additionally, Progyny provides an excellent resource for information about pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Attending a Billy Joel concert unveiled profound reflections on aging, nostalgia, and personal growth. As the music transported the author back to cherished memories, it also highlighted the passage of time and the changes in both Billy and herself. Despite the bittersweet feelings of nostalgia, there’s a recognition of personal evolution and acceptance of the present.
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