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I’ve been carrying a weight on my heart lately. As I share my thoughts, I realize they might stir some debate. However, my goal is to uplift rather than criticize. So please, hear me out.
We are inherently good enough!
In recent years, we have made tremendous strides in empowering one another. We’ve pushed back against body-shaming on social media, encouraging mothers to participate in family photos. We’ve embraced the #NoMakeupMovement, showcasing our authentic selves. Yet, my social media feeds are still flooded with posts from friends involved in direct sales who promote products that promise to help us shed pounds or erase wrinkles. This leaves me questioning, “Am I truly enough?”
I genuinely care for these friends, and I understand that their posts aren’t intended to belittle anyone. Having participated in direct sales myself for several years, I can appreciate the opportunity it provided me to work from home during the early years of motherhood. While it was a beneficial source of income, I also recognized when it became overwhelming alongside my responsibilities as a full-time stay-at-home mom. For some of my friends, this work is essential for their families, and I admire their journey toward achieving goals, fostering community support, and maintaining the flexibility to care for their children.
My intention isn’t to undermine the value of what my friends are selling or to judge their customers. I respect the pursuit of self-improvement and if a product helps you feel better, then go for it! Yet, it would be disingenuous to say that all these messages sit well with me. There are women grappling with eating disorders, body image issues, and societal pressures to meet unattainable standards. I too have my struggles. I fought hard to overcome body image concerns during my teenage years and now recognize my worth beyond mere numbers on a scale.
Despite my efforts to maintain a healthy lifestyle, I still feel the pressure to appear youthful and fit, and the constant reminders on social media don’t help. I exercise regularly for the endorphins, the satisfaction, and the health benefits. Sure, I enjoy looking good in a dress, but as a mother of three daughters, I don’t have the mental bandwidth to fixate on appearance.
I want my girls to see me prioritize self-care and healthy habits, but I don’t want them to think their bodies need to be “fixed” or “perfected” as they grow. Fitness should be a part of a healthy lifestyle, not a means to achieve a specific aesthetic.
As for the natural aging process, I embrace it. While some may navigate it with grace, it can still be difficult to face the mirror and notice new lines that seem to appear overnight. Yes, I know there are effective skincare routines that can help, but honestly—I just don’t want to commit to that. I don’t want to spend my time trying to turn back the clock. Each year I age is a year I’ve been blessed to live, to raise my children, and to cherish my loved ones.
Recently, I started an important conversation with my oldest daughter. Her fascination with princesses made me realize my role in it. I provided her with the dolls, the movies, and the dress-up costumes. Now, I find myself doing damage control by discussing the concept of true beauty with her. She understands that beauty emanates from within and that you can’t simply dress up a wicked character and expect her to be beautiful. Kindness should define worth, but it’s a hard lesson when her role models epitomize ageless perfection.
As her mother, I have a responsibility to show her that beauty transcends flawless skin and youthful features. I want her to see a mom who ages gracefully. I’m not against using a little moisturizer or makeup if it makes me feel good, but I cherish the memory of the girl my husband fell in love with—makeup-free on the beach. His desire to buy me sunscreen instead of perfume speaks volumes about how he sees me. He loves my authentic self, and I do too. So I’ll pass on that wrinkle cream, thank you very much.
For my friends thriving in their businesses, I celebrate their success. I recognize that some of these products have genuinely uplifted women, and I applaud that.
To those who feel the weight of self-doubt creeping in when you see before-and-after images showcasing dramatic transformations, I want to remind you that you are enough just as you are. If you feel comfortable in your skin, then cheers to you! I feel the same way.
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In summary, it’s imperative to recognize the strength and worth within ourselves, regardless of societal pressures. We should celebrate our journeys while embracing authenticity, self-care, and unconditional love for who we are—not how we look.