Six years ago today marked my final hours as a woman without children, and this photograph captures that fleeting moment before my entire existence transformed. As I gaze at this image, I am reminded of a universal truth: each year, we celebrate our children’s birthdays with joy, despite the chaos that often accompanies these festivities. Yet, in the midst of our celebrations for them, we often overlook a crucial figure—the woman in the photo who has yet to embrace motherhood.
It’s essential to acknowledge our past selves and recognize how far we’ve come. This photograph has become a symbol of reflection for me, and I converse with it annually. The day your first child is born, you too are reborn. It’s impossible to deny that you and the woman you were just a day before motherhood are fundamentally different, yet intrinsically connected. Motherhood is not the sum of our identity but rather a new chapter in our journey, shaped by the choices and experiences of that former self.
Dear woman in the photograph:
Right now, you may be feeling a whirlwind of emotions—excitement woven with fear. You are filled with dreams and hopes, yet anxious about the unknown. You envision your baby’s face and anticipate the moment you meet her. But with that anticipation comes uncertainty: How will the delivery unfold? Will you endure the pain? Will everything you’ve planned over the past nine months come to fruition? You’re questioning all your prior experiences and whether they hold any significance.
For months, you’ve made promises to yourself—vowing never to wear yoga pants or to keep your home impeccably organized. You’ve envisioned a life devoid of toys scattered in the living room and maintaining a flawless appearance. You’ve reassured yourself that your children will be well-behaved because you will “know how to raise them,” that they will never fall ill, and that they will be exceptionally intelligent because you will provide them organic meals each day. You’ve also committed to being the model of organization and grace, ensuring you won’t become one of those mothers who complains.
I won’t spoil the surprise that awaits you, but I will share this—happiness is on the horizon. It won’t matter whether you fulfill these promises or not; soon, you will hear a sound that will alter your world in ways both sweet and chaotic. From that moment forward, you will become someone new.
Motherhood will unveil a strength within you that you never knew existed, empowering you to achieve feats you once deemed impossible. You will discover the ability to listen to your heart on a deeper level and perceive life through a different lens. New sensations and instincts will awaken; skills you never recognized will emerge, and your appreciation for simple joys—like sunrises and a warm cup of coffee—will deepen. You will forge new connections and witness the evolution of existing relationships.
You will experience profound love, with your heart swelling each day. The bond you share will flourish amidst challenges, and together you will strive to make the world a better place. No longer just two individuals, you’ll be partners in this beautiful journey.
I promise to honor you—your dreams and aspirations—and I will continue to pursue them, even if it takes more time or requires adjustments along the way. Today, I celebrate the nearly 32 years you spent as a woman before motherhood and the six years I’ve navigated this extraordinary path. Let’s raise a glass in recognition of you and me; today is our Pre-Motherhood Day. Because of you, I am who I am today—your resilience, determination, choices, fears, promises, triumphs, and setbacks have shaped my journey. I will continue to grow and face life head-on, no matter the challenges ahead. Life may not always be easy, but it is ours to navigate, cherish, and honor together.
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In summary, each year I take a moment to reflect on the transformative journey of motherhood, honoring both the woman I was and the mother I have become. This annual celebration serves to strengthen my resolve to cherish my dreams while embracing the beautiful chaos of motherhood.