Every morning, I remind myself: “Practice kindness towards yourself.” My goal is to enjoy the little moments, savor the aroma of my coffee, and share a hug with my kids without letting the endless list of tasks pull me into a future that feels overwhelming.
As a Type-A mom, I often appear to have it all together. I’m efficient and organized, but maintaining this facade takes a toll. My mind is always racing, dissecting every detail, and I often find myself grappling with feelings of inadequacy when I stumble. The never-ending to-do list consumes me—how can I accomplish more each day? What if I forget something important? These thoughts invade my mind, making it hard to enjoy the present.
I long to be more relaxed. I wish I could pass by a scuff mark on the wall without it demanding my attention. I want to focus on cooking breakfast without my mind wandering to next week’s agenda. Yet, as I crack the eggs, my thoughts dart around, adding more tasks to my already full plate. I push myself to handle it all. I am my own harshest critic.
If you identify as a Type-A mom, especially one with anxiety, I know you understand this struggle. You might be overly hard on yourself and hold yourself to standards you wouldn’t impose on anyone else. You feel the pressure to manage everything alone, certain that only you can achieve the desired outcome. You’re adept at multitasking, yet the constant juggling often leads to feelings of impatience and frustration when you can’t meet your own expectations.
Relaxation can feel elusive. Even after a long day of accomplishments, a voice in your head insists you could be doing more. This sense of unworthiness can keep you from enjoying much-needed downtime, even though you recognize it makes you a better parent. You often push through, ignoring the signs of burnout until it becomes overwhelming.
Accepting that being a Type-A mom is part of who you are is crucial. We won’t suddenly transform into laid-back individuals any more than those who are more relaxed can become hyper-focused and anxious. While we may seem in control on the surface, it often comes at a high cost, as we rarely allow ourselves a break.
Motherhood has been my most effective teacher in tempering my Type-A tendencies. I’ve explored various avenues for relaxation—yoga, journaling, and therapy—but nothing has been as impactful as being a mom. Parenting has taught me that life is unpredictable, and I need to ask for help without fretting about results. I’m learning to value the love behind every task, even if it means accepting that not everything will be done to my standards.
The best lessons come when I let go of the need to be the perfect mom. I still have worries, like whether my kids’ outfits match or if I’m perceived as a good parent, but I’m learning to prioritize what truly matters. My children remind me daily to focus on the present, whether they’re lost in thought or need my undivided attention. I don’t want their childhood memories dominated by my frantic organizing or endless lists.
It’s empowering to recognize that as a Type-A mom, it’s okay not to have everything completed. Life will carry on, and I’m gradually learning to loosen my grip on perfectionism. This journey toward finding balance feels liberating.
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