As a parent, my goal is to nurture my children’s authenticity while ensuring they remain respectful and considerate. I genuinely enjoy saying “yes” to their ideas, fostering a sense of individuality. However, I also understand the importance of setting boundaries. I often remind them, “I want to support your growth, but there are rules because I’m still your parent. I have limits, so let’s work together.”
Isn’t this what we all hope for our kids? To feel free enough to express their true selves? I lean toward saying yes more often than no, and I take pride in this approach, yet I’m also aware that there are times when I must step in and redirect their choices. After all, part of being a parent is guiding our children away from poor decisions, while still allowing them to shine.
Setting Boundaries with Self-Expression
For instance, if my son decides he wants to grow his hair out into a man bun or my daughter has her heart set on a colorful undercut, I’m all for it. Hand me the hair dye or the clippers! I might even consider a little lightning bolt shave on the side of their head. However, the moment they suggest something inappropriate, like an offensive design in their hair, that’s where I draw the line.
When it comes to music, I don’t typically censor their choices. I know they listen to popular tracks just as I did at their age—belting out tunes that now make me chuckle. I want them to feel fabulous while enjoying their music. But if I hear disrespectful lyrics that objectify women, I won’t hesitate to intervene. That’s a standard I set in our home because I want them to understand the importance of respect.
I encourage my children to express themselves through their fashion choices, but I also have my limits. If my daughter thinks it’s acceptable to wear a shirt with a suggestive slogan, she’s got another thing coming—I’ll make sure it’s removed, no matter her age.
Creating an Open Environment
I strive to create an environment where my kids can express their feelings, and I welcome discussions about fairness, as long as they communicate respectfully. However, the moment they start hurling insults or negativity my way, it’s time for them to experience a little dose of reality—like scrubbing the bathroom with a toothbrush.
This serves as a reminder that being a “Yes Mom” doesn’t mean being a doormat. The outdated notion that children should be seen and not heard can be damaging. We want our kids to feel empowered and capable of making decisions, yet it can sometimes feel as though I’m losing my footing. When I start to feel like a doormat, I remind myself that it’s often my own doing. Finding the right balance between fostering independence and providing guidance is challenging, especially since kids are still learning and can sometimes push boundaries.
Embracing the Journey
Despite the challenges, I continue to embrace saying yes more often than not, and I actively seek out ways to comfortably say yes. I can admit that I don’t always get it right, but for the most part, this approach works for my family. Saying yes tends to create a more joyful atmosphere. Now, let’s turn up the music and see where this journey takes us.
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In summary, finding the right balance between encouragement and boundaries is essential. By fostering open communication and reinforcing respect, parents can support their children’s growth without compromising their own authority.