So, you’re interested in becoming my mom friend. That sounds fantastic! However, before we embark on this journey together—perhaps with a delightful trip to the local Target—I must address some important matters upfront. I’ve had my fair share of drama, including one unfortunate incident involving a rock and my son’s head, so let’s save each other some time and clarify a few things if we want to be mom buddies. My schedule is packed with laundry and managing the unpredictable antics of little ones who seem to have a knack for getting undressed at the most inconvenient moments.
Do You Respect My Parenting Choices?
I lean toward a gentle parenting style and believe in attachment parenting. I understand that you might have different methods—be it formula-feeding, crib-sleeping, or allowing your child to cry it out. Regardless of our differences, mutual respect is non-negotiable. No backhanded comments or passive-aggressive digs, please; I simply don’t have the energy for that.
Are Our Kids Close in Age and Not Miniature Tyrants?
It’s essential that our children are around the same age and can get along. This way, we can enjoy our coffee while they create chaos in the other room. If they’re not compatible, it complicates everything.
Are You Aware That Toddlers Can Be a Bit Wild?
Young children can be quite savage—they hit, scratch, kick, and bite without a second thought. If you’re not prepared for this reality, we might not be a good match. You’ll need to develop a sense of humor about childhood squabbles, as they are bound to happen.
Do You Prefer a Drama-Free Life?
I’m all about eliminating unnecessary drama. This means no gossiping, secret-sharing, or vague social media posts for attention. I simply don’t have the time to engage in that kind of negativity.
Are You Easily Disgusted?
We’re going to have to talk about some messy topics, including snot, poop, labor stories, and even menstruation. If you can’t handle these discussions, we might not mesh well.
How Do You Feel About Politics?
While it’s great if our political views align, I’m open to differing opinions as long as they’re well-reasoned. It helps if you’re somewhat informed about current events, including topics like healthcare and reproductive rights, so we can share our thoughts openly.
Can We Talk About Other Topics Too?
While discussions about poop will be necessary, I also want to chat about hair dye, recipes, and life outside of motherhood. A healthy balance of adult conversation is essential for a fulfilling friendship.
Are You Up for a Trip to Target?
Let’s be honest—who doesn’t love Target?
What I Don’t Mind, and Expect You Not to Either:
- The state of your laundry
- The cleanliness of your home, barring any pest issues
- Your chosen parenting style
- Your age
- Your work situation
- Your sexual orientation
If you’ve passed this informal interview, congratulations! Let’s grab a coffee and chat more.
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Summary:
Finding mom friends can be a daunting task, but by establishing clear expectations and mutual respect, you can create a supportive network. It’s essential to align on parenting philosophies, share a sense of humor about the chaos of young children, and maintain a drama-free environment. Don’t forget to engage in conversations that extend beyond parenting, as this balance is key to a thriving friendship.