Last week, I witnessed a truck run a red light. Fortunately, the intersection was clear, and the vehicle sailed through without incident. It was a jarring moment, but it seemed to be a mistake — the truck had out-of-state plates, the driver wasn’t speeding, and a quick tap of the brakes on the other side suggested he realized his error. He likely felt shaken, or at least frustrated with himself for being so distracted.
In stark contrast, the driver in front of me was visibly furious. She flailed her arms and leaned out of her window, gesturing wildly at the truck, even as it vanished from view. As she continued her tirade, alone in her car, I wondered how often she felt this way. Was her life filled with rage and frustration?
Yes, the truck ran a red light, and had another vehicle been approaching, the outcome could have been dire. But accidents, by nature, are just that — accidental. Rarely do drivers intend to create chaos or upset others.
This incident got me thinking about the impatience and negativity we often encounter in daily life. As a doctor, I share my experiences with patients and colleagues in hopes of fostering understanding. Yet, for every supportive comment, there’s often a critical response: “This is pointless,” or “You shouldn’t be in this profession.”
I see it in grocery stores when a customer breathes heavily and rolls their eyes at a slow cashier. I witness it at restaurants when a server is reprimanded for a minor error in an order. I notice it in the frustrated faces of those tailgating slower drivers. What does all this anger achieve? Absolutely nothing. Being upset won’t speed up a transaction or change someone’s driving skills; it merely spreads negativity and ruins moments of our day.
I don’t claim to be immune to irritation or impatience. I don’t float through my day on a cloud of positivity. However, when I feel my patience wearing thin, I consciously practice empathy. I try to consider the circumstances of the person who is bothering me. It’s not always easy, but it’s essential.
We need to allow some grace for each other. Whether it’s you, me, a doctor, a service worker, or anyone else, we are all human. Everyone has off days, and while their mistakes may inconvenience us, we must remember that we, too, can be the source of inconvenience for others. When we make mistakes, would we prefer compassion or frustration in return?
Since my children were young, I have urged them to pause and reflect before reacting, asking themselves, “Will this help or hurt?” If it won’t help, it’s better to let it go. The world benefits from more kindness and empathy. This age-old wisdom resonates across generations: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
And if you find this article unhelpful or a waste of your time, that’s perfectly valid — but perhaps keep that thought to yourself and move on.
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Summary
In a world filled with impatience and negativity, we should strive to practice empathy and understanding. By cutting each other some slack, we can foster a kinder environment for everyone. Remember, we all have off days, and extending compassion can improve our collective experience.