Dear Family, Friends, and Acquaintances,
To my mom, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, that barely-known jazzercise buddy, the other mom at drop-off, my neighbor, the priest at the baptism, my college friend, my work colleague, the receptionist on the fifth floor, the pizza delivery guy, the library security guard, and anyone else inquiring:
Despite your persistent nudges, I want to clarify—I’m not planning to have another child. It’s not due to a traumatic birth experience. There’s no medical reason preventing it. I’m not facing financial ruin or a divorce. Simply put, I’m content with one child.
You may think I’m being selfish for wanting just one. If that means working tirelessly throughout the week to support my family, juggling a lengthy commute, and cherishing those rare moments of playing with my son, then perhaps I am. Is it selfish to desire a hot meal instead of cold leftovers from my son’s high chair? Or to engage in a conversation with my husband before my brain turns to mush after a long day? Yes, I also want to carve out time to hit the gym twice a week, see friends occasionally, and get a haircut once in a blue moon. But guess what? We can thrive with one child.
You fret that my son will lack a playmate. However, siblings often don’t mesh well or share interests. One might be into trucks while the other prefers arts and crafts. Instead of relying on a hypothetical sibling, I choose to fully engage with my son during these precious years when he still wants to be around me. I can be his playmate, and it’s a joy that enriches my life.
You might be wondering, “But what happens when you’re gone?” Yes, it’s a tad selfish not to have another child purely for my son’s future convenience, but my role is to teach him the value of relationships, friendship, and love. I’ll do my utmost to instill these values in him. If it eases your mind, I could even consider a life insurance policy—likely more affordable than raising another child.
“Wouldn’t you love more cuteness?” you ask. Absolutely, my son is adorable, a little cherub who wears clothes like a miniature gentleman. However, I’m not keen on gambling with the odds of ‘breaking the mold.’
And as for a little girl? I already know what that’s like. I am that girl, and quite frankly, I’ve had enough of myself. My sister is a version of that too, and I’m already aware of how she turned out.
You might be concerned about him being spoiled. Honestly, I hope he gets a little spoiling! With two kids, I’d be preoccupied with finances for college and managing their squabbles. I aim to be a dedicated parent, setting boundaries and teaching him how to navigate life—like how not to lose his mind in the Disney store.
In the end, one child suits our family just fine. That is our decision, and I appreciate your concern, but I will continue to cherish and nurture my wonderful son in the way I see fit.
Warmly,
Rachel
P.S. Please don’t use the phrase “one and done.” It’s a bit cringeworthy.
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Summary
This letter expresses the author’s firm decision to have only one child, addressing various concerns from family and friends about the potential loneliness of her son and the joys of having more children. The author emphasizes her commitment to nurturing her son, prioritizing her family’s current dynamics, and managing her own happiness.