As a pediatrician and a parent, I’ve seen firsthand how new moms often feel evaluated based on their children’s sleeping, eating, and behavioral milestones. I remember thinking that if my kids hit all the right notes—sleeping through the night, eating healthy meals, and behaving impeccably—I would be the gold standard of motherhood. But really, who’s keeping score? When you step back and consider it, does it even matter what others think?
Looking back, I realize that my anxious tendencies and strict routines didn’t ruin my children, but they definitely added unnecessary stress to our lives. I spent too much time worrying about whether they were perfectly clean or if our schedule was followed to the minute. If I could do it all over again, I’d embrace a more relaxed approach because some things just aren’t worth the anxiety. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned:
1. Eating and Sleeping Routines
I used to stress if we weren’t home at the exact time for lunch or nap. While routines can provide structure, it’s completely acceptable to be flexible. As I’ve observed, a tense parent often results in tense kids, who might not eat or sleep well. If I had let go of that anxiety, we could have enjoyed mealtimes and naps without the drama.
2. Cleanliness Standards
I remember the times my kids would fall asleep in high chairs, and I’d panic about getting them cleaned up first. In hindsight, I should have embraced those moments. Instead of stressing over their cleanliness, I could have relaxed and let them enjoy their food—even if it meant some mess along the way.
3. Household Cleanliness
I often felt the need to keep my home spotless for unexpected visitors or playdates. Honestly, I spent too much energy trying to maintain a pristine environment. My house could have withstood a little chaos, and I should have focused more on making memories instead of worrying about a clean floor.
4. Fashion Choices
Having three kids close in age made me want to dress them in cute matching outfits. However, I quickly learned that they weren’t fans of my styling choices. I could have saved myself the hassle and allowed them to express their own style—or lack thereof.
5. Nutrition
I put immense pressure on myself to provide the perfect organic meals, only to find my kids sneaking sugary cereals when I wasn’t looking. While it’s essential to be mindful of what they eat, it’s also crucial to not lose sleep over it. A little indulgence here and there is perfectly fine, and it can even give you a moment to catch your breath.
From my experiences, I’ve realized that parenting is less about perfection and more about enjoying the journey. I wish I had taken a step back to appreciate the chaos instead of stressing over every little thing. For those of you navigating this path, it’s okay to stray from the schedule, embrace the mess, and savor the moments—after all, you’re doing your best.
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In summary, parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and there are countless opportunities to learn and grow. Embrace the imperfections, and remember that it’s okay to relax and enjoy your family.