The internet is a peculiar and fascinating realm. Sure, it can be frightening and overwhelming, but it also offers a wealth of information. Want a great deal on that trendy lipstick? The internet has your answer (Pro tip: check Ulta). Curious about the name of the actor who portrays Kevin on This Is Us? The answer is Justin Hartley, also known as Hottie McHottypants. Need to know how to remove permanent marker from your couch? A quick search will reveal a method involving dish soap, white vinegar, water, and perhaps a few prayers.
During one of my recent explorations, I stumbled upon a list detailing how often one should clean various household items. I figured it might provide some useful insights or at least reassure me that I wasn’t completely failing at keeping my home in order. What a mistake that was! As they say, ignorance is bliss, and I was comfortably nestled in my state of chaos. According to that chart, I’m not merely behind on my cleaning duties; I’m flunking life.
For a brief moment, I felt disheartened until I realized that these standards likely apply to those without children or to individuals who find solace in hyper-cleaning. I know they exist; I’ve read about them and admire their dedication. But, dear heavens, I am not one of them.
As the saying goes, cleaning with kids is akin to trying to brush your teeth while munching on Oreos. Personally, I’d much rather indulge in Oreos with a glass of wine on the side. But I digress.
I’m not a messy person—far from it. I detest clutter and maintain a reasonably tidy living space. However, there’s no way I can consistently meet these daunting standards, and I suspect most folks feel the same.
Let’s take a closer look at these cleaning expectations, shall we?
Daily Tasks:
Squeegee the shower walls and sweep the kitchen floors.
Wait, squeegee the shower walls? I don’t even own one! And even if I did, I can’t imagine spending the precious moments I have in the shower doing that. My kids would just cover the walls in colorful soap anyway. As for sweeping the kitchen floors daily? No thanks—my pets handle that!
Weekly Tasks:
Change bedsheets, sanitize sponges, and toss out expired food.
Change my sheets once a week? Seriously? Does anyone actually do that? I’m lucky if I remember to swap them out once a month; my kids’ sheets only get changed after a stomach bug. Have you ever tried changing bedding on a bunk bed? It’s an exercise in frustration. And when I finally get around to washing the sheets, I inevitably crawl into bed only to remember they’re still in the washing machine.
Monthly Tasks:
Dust the blinds and clean the washing machine’s interior.
Excuse me while I chuckle.
Every Few Months:
Vacuum the mattress, descale the coffee maker, and tidy the fireplace.
If I can barely recall to change my sheets monthly, how on earth will I remember to vacuum the mattress? Not happening. And descaling the coffee machine? I have no idea what that even entails!
On the bright side, I am succeeding at one item on that list: our fireplace is spotless because we don’t even have one, leaving me more time to search for more information on Justin Hartley.
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In summary, the cleaning standards set forth by various lists can be daunting, especially for those of us juggling family life. It’s important to find what works for you and remember that perfection is not the goal—balance is.