As a pediatrician and a parent, I have a complex relationship with birthday party treat bags. It might seem trivial, but the expectation that children should receive a reward at the end of a party can create an unnecessary sense of entitlement. After all, the purpose of attending a party is to celebrate a friend, not to collect prizes.
For parents who aren’t particularly crafty or inclined to create elaborate goody bags, this can be a source of stress. Some may enjoy crafting and designing unique party favors, which is admirable, but for many of us, the idea of assembling treat bags can feel overwhelming and anxiety-inducing.
Moreover, the contents of most goody bags are often disappointing. Typically filled with items that are either cheap toys or potential choking hazards, these bags often end up discarded or lost shortly after the party. In my experience, the treats often end up scattered across the car or left behind entirely.
Despite my reservations about goody bags, I understand that many parents still feel the need to provide them to ensure their children have a memorable day. Just recently, I attended a birthday party for my daughter, Ella. The venue we chose took care of the goody bags, which was a relief for me. I simply provided the theme and the number of guests, and they handled the rest.
This particular party was mostly for girls, with a few boys in attendance. When I informed the host about the mix of guests, they assured me they would prepare separate bags for the boys. However, on the morning of the party, a mother reached out to ask if her daughter could come along since she couldn’t find a babysitter. I agreed but mentioned that there might not be a treat bag for her, as I had already submitted the headcount. Her mother reassured me that her daughter would be fine without one.
On the day of the event, a few kids couldn’t make it, leaving an extra bag available for the new guest. However, instead of gratitude, I was met with tears. The girl was upset that her bag didn’t contain the same items as the boys’ bags. While I understood her disappointment, I explained that the bags had been prepared in advance. Unfortunately, her cries escalated until her younger sister chimed in that she hadn’t taken a bag either because she didn’t like the contents.
At that moment, I decided I had enough of these goody bags. It’s not just about whether I create them or someone else does; the issue lies in the expectations they foster. I’ve witnessed enough meltdowns over trivial items to know that these bags only serve to create more problems than they solve.
Going forward, I’ve decided to eliminate goody bags entirely from my children’s birthday parties. Some may be disappointed, but it gives them a new topic to discuss. And quite frankly, I’m done with the nagging sense of obligation that comes with them.
To my friend’s daughter who had a meltdown over the goody bag, the appropriate response is simply, “Thank you!” After all, appreciation should come first when receiving something for just showing up.
For those interested in more parenting insights or to explore home insemination options, you can check out this contact us page for further information. If you’re navigating the journey of starting a family, resources like Make a Mom can be invaluable, as well as the Fertility Center at Johns Hopkins for comprehensive guidance on insemination procedures.
Summary
The author expresses frustration with the tradition of goody bags at children’s birthday parties, emphasizing how these expectations can lead to entitlement and disappointment. After a personal experience at a party, the author decides to eliminate goody bags from future celebrations, advocating for gratitude and appreciation over material rewards.