As a pediatrician and a parent, I have spent countless hours lying beside my restless children, hoping they’ll succumb to sleep. In those quiet moments, I often find myself scrolling through social media, trying to remain undetected lest they call me out on my late-night screen time.
Yet, some evenings are surprisingly serene. As my children transition from wakefulness to dreamland, I’m reminded of the profound connection we share. Their sleepy murmurs and gentle embraces fill me with a sense of love and gratitude that I didn’t anticipate when I first became a parent.
Many parents debate the merits of lying down with their children at bedtime, often believing it creates a dependency. They worry that by doing this, their kids won’t learn to self-soothe or become independent. However, research indicates that a strong emotional bond can foster greater independence in children. Essentially, providing a sense of security allows them to navigate the world with confidence.
It’s crucial to note that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. While some families may not choose to lie down at bedtime, if this practice works for you, there’s no reason to abandon it. The time spent lying next to your child is brief in the grand scheme of life, yet it holds immense significance for them.
I lie down with my kids because they seek my presence, and it’s a routine we’ve cherished. Amidst the chaos of daily life—school, work, meals, and responsibilities—these moments of closeness are rare and invaluable. Even as an adult, I sometimes struggle to fall asleep alone. If I crave that comfort, why shouldn’t my children?
There have been nights when my older child has insisted on falling asleep solo, giving me the gentle nudge to leave. But on those tougher nights, when he’s anxious or restless, I’m there for him. I recognize that these moments of needing comfort will eventually fade.
Boys, in particular, are often socialized to suppress their emotions, which can be detrimental. I want to create an environment where my sons feel safe expressing their needs and vulnerabilities. Thus, when they ask me to stay, I gladly do so.
Of course, there are evenings when I feel exhausted and just want some peace. I sometimes find myself clenching my teeth, battling frustration. Nevertheless, I know that those quiet moments hold tremendous value for both my children and me. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
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Summary:
Lying down with your children until they fall asleep can be a nurturing practice that fosters emotional security, leading to greater independence. While parenting approaches vary, this intimate routine can provide essential comfort for both children and parents alike.