As a new parent, there are few things more disheartening than hearing hurtful comments about your child. “That baby looks strange. His eyes are not cute.” These are the kinds of remarks no parent wants to endure, especially while trying to enjoy a simple outing. To provide some context, my son, who is now almost 8 months old, was born with a unique eye condition known as ptosis in one eye, requiring surgery to maintain his vision, along with some webbing and a fistula in the other eye. He will need additional surgeries in the coming years.
With another child on the way, due this September, my sensitivities as a new mom are heightened. I’ve always worried about my son facing bullying as he grows up, a fear that kept me awake during his NICU stay while I felt utterly helpless. I’ve lost sleep over him possibly struggling to make friends, finding love, or lacking the self-confidence needed for a successful life. Sure, that last thought might be a stretch, but hormones can amplify fears.
During one particularly challenging moment at a fast-food restaurant, I overheard two young boys making cruel comments about my son. My husband, my steadfast support, reminded me that I was allowing their words to get to me. While I understood that logically, my emotions took over. It took me days to shake off the hurt. Then it hit me: our son is phenomenal. He brings joy to everyone around him, radiates happiness, and remains blissfully unaware of any differences. If he isn’t affected, why should I be? Those boys who spoke so callously likely have their own insecurities or are just being immature. Regardless, these attitudes are something our son will encounter throughout his life. Our reactions will shape how he perceives himself in the world.
Children often stare at our son, which is normal given his differences. Recently, while shopping, an elderly man approached me, saying, “Poor little guy. What’s wrong with his eyes?” Instead of feeling upset or defensive, I seized the moment to share a positive perspective. I replied, “There’s nothing to pity him for! He sees perfectly and is the happiest baby you’ll ever meet.” At that moment, my son smiled brightly, and the man’s expression softened. It was a realization that we make quite the team.
I dislike the notion that a higher power gives us challenges because we can handle them—like telling me I could “handle” a bathtub full of cockroaches. Yet, I felt a surge of pride in that interaction. It made me wish I could revisit that fast-food encounter and educate those boys about my son’s condition. I should have been the one to step up when no one else did. I acknowledge that sometimes I’m just too worn out to engage with questions or stares, but this is our reality.
As for our unborn child, we don’t know if they will share the same challenges, and honestly, we don’t care. We stopped all genetic testing months ago, having ruled out any serious issues, and I proudly embrace my role as the mother of a preemie and a child with facial differences. More importantly, I’m the mother of a witty, joyful, and spirited little boy. Ultimately, what more could a mother wish for? Absolutely nothing.
For more insights on navigating parenting challenges, check out this article on Cervical Insemination. If you’re considering at-home insemination, Make A Mom offers reliable kits to help you on your journey. Additionally, for anyone seeking information on infertility and conception, WomensHealth.gov is an excellent resource.
Summary
This article reflects on the journey of a mother learning to embrace her child’s unique traits and not letting the opinions of others affect her. It emphasizes the importance of positivity and acceptance while navigating parenting challenges, particularly when it comes to differences.
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