As I sat down to watch The Nutcracker yet again, I had a lightbulb moment: Fritz could easily be one of my kids! It’s no secret that I adore this holiday classic—the enchanting music, stunning choreography, and elaborate costumes have been a part of my life for years. My father took me to see it when I was young, and even in college, I made a point to catch a performance. Later, I insisted my husband join me when I was expecting our first child, and as soon as my sons were old enough, I dragged them along too. Surprisingly, it turned out to be a hit with them as well—who wouldn’t enjoy sword fights, the Mouse King, and lively dancing?
When most think of The Nutcracker, they envision elegant ballerinas and the delightful Sugar Plum Fairy. However, the story itself is tinged with reality. Clara receives the Nutcracker from her beloved godfather on Christmas Eve, only for her brother Fritz to become envious, snatch it away, and break it. This is exactly the kind of behavior I’d expect from my own children!
As a parent, the holiday season often brings a whirlwind of stress fueled by unrealistic expectations. My kids’ wish lists seem to grow increasingly outrageous each year, filled with requests for live pets like hedgehogs and hamsters, loud musical instruments like a drum set and ukulele, and every single item from the Lego catalog. Additionally, there’s the competition among relatives, all vying for their turn with my children, and a seemingly endless stream of invitations and obligations that drain both my time and finances.
But perhaps the most stressful aspect is the expectation that kids should be perfectly well-behaved, patient, and grateful during this chaotic time—all while they’re hyped up on sugar and way past their bedtime. The pressure of the naughty/nice list can feel overwhelming for little ones, who often have no grasp of time or the concept of waiting. Those who caution, “Santa’s watching!” in the midst of a tantrum should really take a step back.
For anyone who imagines a holiday scene filled with cherubic children in cozy pajamas, clutching teddy bears while visions of sugar plums dance in their heads, I invite you to visit my home in December. Here, it’s more about broken ornaments, meltdowns, and time-outs. I’m seriously contemplating stitching “Kids are why we can’t have nice things” onto a throw pillow!
Yet, The Nutcracker serves as a comforting reminder that this is all part of the norm. Kids are often cranky during the holidays, and they may not always appreciate every gift. No matter how much you coach them to smile and thank Aunt Susan for those hand-knitted socks, little ones can’t always hide their disappointment. Let’s be honest—many adults struggle with this as well; we just tend to have better poker faces.
During the holiday season, I strive to keep my expectations in check and choose décor that can be easily replaced. I may never pass down a precious nutcracker to my grandchildren (mostly because my kids will likely destroy it first), but let’s face it—nutcrackers aren’t the best gifts for children anyway. You’re better off selecting something from the Lego catalog. I recommend checking out page 32!
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In summary, the holiday season may never align with our idealized visions, but embracing the chaos and understanding that it’s perfectly normal can make all the difference.