Every holiday season, GOOP releases a gift guide that highlights the extravagant tastes of the affluent, showcasing items that leave the rest of us scratching our heads. This year, they introduced a section aptly named The Lover Gift Guide, and it’s as bizarre as it sounds.
Let’s explore the oddities they’ve curated for couples looking to spice things up—or not.
Fur Oil for Pubic Hair – $39
This product is marketed as a blend of grapeseed and jojoba oils, designed to soften and condition. The label is straightforward: “FOR PUBIC HAIR.” It’s hard to imagine a romantic moment being enhanced by the thought of applying tea tree oil to such a sensitive area.
A-Cup Pillow – $295
Imagine a throw pillow that resembles a breast but is shaped as a single unit. Hand-knit from soft highland wool, this pillow seems more suited for a quirky art display than for intimate settings. Seriously, who needs this?
Bang Plate – $80
The description simply states, “Bang plates. Get it?” Unfortunately, the humor is lost on many, leaving us confused about the connection to romance.
Seletti Toilet Paper Little Butt Table – $416.25
This peculiar piece is a table featuring an image of a playing card lodged in a cartoonish rear end. It’s hard to fathom how a table meant for toilet paper could be a romantic gift.
One Feather Earring – $350
This single accent earring is meant to be paired with another piece, yet it’s sold as an individual item. Who wears just one earring? It’s a puzzling choice for a thoughtful gift.
Membership to an Elite Sex Club – Price Unknown
The Snctm club promises a world of indulgence and secrecy, complete with an initiation process. What a unique gift! Imagine gifting someone a membership to a venue where they can explore their wildest fantasies—if that’s your idea of romance.
Nightgown – $168
Described as “body flattering,” this nightgown seems tailored more for a fashion show than for practical wear. It likely won’t suit anyone’s needs very well, but it does have a certain charm.
Sex Dust – $20
Marketed as a way to heighten arousal, this edible powder is said to be especially good in nut milk. Who needs traditional aphrodisiacs when you can have this instead?
With such a wide array of choices, it may be challenging to decide between a mysterious sex club membership, the discomfort of tea tree oil, or an impractical nightgown that could leave you exposed. The romance is palpable, right?
For more insights into home insemination and related topics, check out this informative post on our site here. If you’re considering starting a family, you might want to visit Cryobaby for their at-home insemination kit. And for those interested in fertility services, Hopkins Medicine provides excellent resources.
In summary, GOOP’s Lover Gift Guide offers a hilariously unsexy array of gift options that challenge traditional notions of romance. Whether you’re feeling adventurous or just confused, these items certainly push the boundaries of what a thoughtful gift can be.