I distinctly remember the last time I lost my cool. My children and I had just returned from a long day at school. “Go to your rooms,” I instructed in a voice that sounded foreign to my ears. “Now!”
This was met with tears and soft protests. My frustration boiled over, and before I knew it, I was shouting. “I don’t want to hear it! Don’t even look at me. Just go!”
You might think this paints me as a heartless villain, but let me clarify: I’m generally a kind-hearted individual. If you crossed paths with me in a supermarket, I would likely smile and let you cut in line. I’ve always avoided conflict, especially with my kids. My typical approach to their daily mischief is to overlook it.
However, this desire for harmony comes at a price. The frustration and anger I try to suppress don’t disappear; they just simmer beneath the surface. Everyday challenges of parenting—like the constant bickering, whining, and Play-Doh disasters—gradually build up until I can no longer contain them, leading to an inevitable outburst.
This was exactly what happened that fateful afternoon when I transformed into “Angry Mom.” The morning had been chaotic, with my daughters arguing to the point of nearly missing the bus. The car ride home was a brief respite, lasting less than a minute before my oldest daughter inadvertently annoyed her sister, who then reacted by screeching like a parrot on a caffeine high. The noise pierced my ears, and I felt a headache creeping in. I had reached my limit.
After shouting at the kids to retreat to their rooms, I paced the kitchen, anxiously awaiting my husband’s return from work. As soon as he walked in, I declared, “I just can’t handle them right now.”
Grabbing my car keys, I drove aimlessly into town, pulling into a parking lot where I sat with the engine running. My frustration simmered as I flipped through radio stations, tears welling up in my eyes. As the sun dipped below the horizon, I felt the tension in my chest begin to ease. Finally, I made my way home.
Upon entering the kitchen, my daughters ran toward me, offering hugs and a handmade card that read, “Dear Mama, we’re sorry we were notty.” In that moment, the remnants of “Angry Mom” dissipated. I apologized for my outburst and explained to my children why their fighting affected me so deeply—it saddened me to witness their conflict, as I knew how much they loved each other. We took a moment to discuss the importance of valuing each other’s feelings and personal space. They promised to improve, and while I knew that would last only for a while, we moved on.
Do I think it would be beneficial to express my frustrations more regularly, rather than bottle them up until they explode? Absolutely. I’m working on it.
However, I firmly believe there is no single correct way to navigate the emotional complexities of motherhood. Each day, we strive to find a balance between maintaining peace and safeguarding our own mental health. I used to think perfect mothers existed—those who managed to teach their children discipline and respect without ever losing their tempers. I’ve since realized that such a figure is as mythical as unicorns or husbands who never leave their socks lying around.
Whether you experience meltdowns daily or just once a year, remember that you are not a monster. Sometimes, these emotional outbursts are essential. They help us return to a state where we can breathe and feel heard. They also remind our children that we’re human—that their actions can deeply impact others and that adults, like kids, grapple with intense emotions. If we allow it, the aftermath of a meltdown can serve as a valuable opportunity to reconnect with our loved ones and reinforce the way we wish to be treated.
For more insights on journeying through motherhood, check out our post on home insemination. And for those interested in resources for infertility and pregnancy, Johns Hopkins offers excellent information. If you’re considering self-insemination options, Make A Mom is a leading authority on the subject.
Summary:
Experiencing moments of frustration as a parent is a natural part of motherhood. While it’s common to suppress feelings to maintain peace, these emotions can build up and lead to outbursts. Understanding that meltdowns are sometimes necessary can help parents reconnect with their children and navigate the complexities of family dynamics.