As a physician, I’ve seen firsthand how dismissing someone’s emotions with a simple “just get over it” fails to provide any real support. When a patient is grappling with mental health challenges, such as postpartum depression or anxiety, their distress is often overwhelming. I recall one patient, Emily, who was paralyzed by her thoughts following the birth of her child—worries about her baby’s health, her role as a mother, and even fears of catastrophic events consumed her. Fortunately, with proper medical intervention and support from her partner, she began to heal. However, had anyone suggested she merely “get over it,” it would only have added to her feelings of isolation and frustration.
The same applies when individuals confront past traumas. Another patient, Jake, opened up about childhood abuse that still impacts his life, nearly three decades later. Suggesting he should “move on” trivializes his experience and ignores the profound effects it has had on his psyche.
Disappointment also warrants acknowledgment. When a child throws a tantrum in public or a favorite restaurant declines a payment method, merely telling someone to “get over it” dismisses their valid feelings. Emotions are not something we can turn off at will. They are complex and deeply personal, and each person experiences them uniquely. If it were that easy, no one would linger in sadness or anger.
Saying “get over it” often carries an implication that struggling with one’s feelings is a sign of weakness. This notion is not only inaccurate but also demeaning. Emotions are not a reflection of strength or weakness; they are simply a part of the human experience. When we tell someone to suppress their feelings, we invalidate their experiences and make them feel unheard. A more compassionate response would be to express empathy, such as saying, “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way” or “I wish things were different for you.” This shows understanding and opens the door for meaningful conversation.
Moreover, using phrases like “just get over it” suggests that a person’s emotional state is an inconvenience. Nobody wants to feel like a burden, and making someone feel small during their most vulnerable moments is cruel. When someone is hurting, their feelings deserve attention and respect, rather than being sidelined for the sake of convenience.
It is crucial to recognize that emotional healing takes time and patience. Whether it’s coping with mental illness, mourning the loss of a beloved pet, or navigating challenging life events, each person’s journey is valid and deserves acknowledgment. Instead of minimizing someone’s feelings, we should create space for them to process their emotions.
If you find yourself at a loss for words, there are many supportive phrases you can use that don’t undermine someone’s feelings. Saying “I hope you feel better soon” or simply listening can go a long way. For additional insights on emotional health and support, you can visit Women’s Health, an excellent resource for understanding the complexities of pregnancy and home insemination.
It’s essential to remember that telling someone to “get over it” does more harm than good. Instead, let’s foster a culture of empathy and understanding, allowing individuals to express their emotions without fear of judgment.
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Summary
It’s crucial to understand that telling someone to “get over it” can be incredibly damaging. Emotions are complex and can’t simply be turned off. Instead, we should offer empathy and understanding, allowing individuals to process their feelings in a supportive environment.