The last place you’d expect a wine joke to go unnoticed is among a group of mom bloggers. They practically coined phrases like “Wine not Whine,” “Mommy’s Sippy Cup,” and “Wine O’Clock.”
Recently, I attended a book launch in Atlanta for a fellow writer who has captured the hearts of mom bloggers everywhere. Her humorous take on relatable parenting topics has made her a household name among mothers. As we gathered in a circle, exchanging tales of toddler tantrums, diaper disasters, and stepping on Legos, our conversation flowed freely. We shared our mutual disdain for shows like Peppa Pig and Max and Ruby.
As the discussion shifted towards our professional lives—where we’ve been featured, our favorite editors, and the elusive “going viral”—I found myself as the only one, along with the celebrated author, who had experienced viral fame. I recounted my gratitude for the connections my work fostered, but it was a tumultuous ride. For 48 hours, my online presence was overwhelming; I faced praise, trolling, and even hate mail. Tabloids attempted to reveal personal aspects of my life, which was a lot to handle.
“So how did you cope with it all?” the author inquired.
“Well, I added ‘drink wine’ to my to-do list, and being the overachiever that I am, I polished off the entire bottle,” I chuckled.
However, instead of laughter, I was met with awkward smiles. It wasn’t just that my joke fell flat; they all seemed to understand something I hadn’t.
“Oh, that wouldn’t be me. I’ve been sober for years,” she revealed.
My laughter instantly vanished, and I felt an uncomfortable silence envelop us. I searched for a witty comeback but found myself speechless, realizing my insensitivity. The author shared that she was a recovering cocaine addict, which made my flippant comment even more regrettable.
In that moment, I bought her book—considering purchasing a stack—as if that act could erase my thoughtlessness. How did I not notice the absence of alcohol at this event? The gathering featured hors d’oeuvres of fruits, cheeses, and veggies, all accompanied by water. The lack of booze should have been a clear signal, but I was oblivious until it dawned on me.
Driving home that night, I felt a wave of shame. The last thing I ever wanted was to make anyone struggling with addiction feel uncomfortable. That one incident completely altered my perspective on jokes about mommy drinking culture; they’re far from humorous—they can be harmful. These jokes not only jeopardize the sobriety of those in recovery but also perpetuate a dangerous narrative for all mothers.
The drinking culture among moms suggests that dealing with life’s challenges requires a few drinks, or perhaps a whole bottle. For those with a complicated relationship with alcohol, this can lead to a precarious situation. I often reflect on my past relationship with alcohol, which at one point became quite problematic. Before writing for larger platforms, I too had a mom blog where I vented about the challenges of motherhood, often infusing humor into my struggles with wine jokes.
Back then, nothing seemed funny at all. I was juggling two toddlers, dealing with marital stress, and feeling overwhelmed. The monotony of daily life felt suffocating, leading me to consume a bottle of wine each night. I would slur my way through bedtime stories and collapse into bed, oblivious to my growing dependency on alcohol.
I didn’t recognize my drinking as a problem because my peers were doing the same. Functioning day-to-day, I managed to work, care for my children, and keep up with household responsibilities. The notion of needing a drink at 5 PM became a common ritual in my routine, a way to cope with the endless demands of motherhood.
However, I came to understand that I wasn’t alone. According to surveys by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about half of women of child-bearing age consume alcohol, and 18 percent of them engage in binge drinking. Binge drinking, as defined by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, is a pattern that raises blood alcohol concentration (BAC) levels to 0.08 g/dL, which typically means four drinks for women. Excessive drinking poses severe health risks, including higher chances of cancer, heart disease, and liver damage.
Instead of numbing our struggles with alcohol, we should explore healthier coping mechanisms for the pressures of motherhood. Could activities like running or yoga provide a better way to manage stress? Would we consider meditation or even indulging in mindless reality TV over a glass of wine?
I often opted for the bottle because it was the easiest choice, allowing me to take a break while my kids were entertained. I didn’t have the emotional tools to manage the complexities of modern motherhood, and my reliance on alcohol prevented me from seeking healthier alternatives.
Moms today face immense pressure—not only to nurture their children emotionally but also to ensure they lead healthy, balanced lives. We worry about everything: their nutrition, screen time, and extracurricular activities. The societal expectations placed on mothers can be relentless, and the judgment from peers, especially on social media, is magnified.
Instead of masking our issues with alcohol, perhaps we should examine why mothers feel compelled to drink in the first place. Cultural factors contribute significantly, including a lack of postpartum support, pervasive sexism, and economic challenges that disproportionately affect women. The expectations placed on mothers to thrive in both their personal and professional lives are overwhelming.
The challenges we face as mothers are serious, not humorous. It’s time to recognize that alcohol is not a solution to our cultural dilemmas. It only distracts us from addressing the underlying issues we grapple with. We must reject this narrative for our well-being, for the benefit of other women, and for the sake of our children—clear-headed and aware.
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