7 Things to Avoid Saying to Someone Facing Fertility Challenges

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Navigating the journey of trying to conceive can be a deeply emotional and taxing experience. As a physician who has witnessed countless couples struggle with fertility, I understand the complexities and sensitivities surrounding this issue. Here are seven statements that are best left unsaid to someone grappling with conception challenges:

  1. Just Relax. This is a common phrase that can feel dismissive. The truth is, stress can increase during the process of trying to conceive. When one is faced with medical consultations and test results, relaxation may feel like an unattainable goal.
  2. Pregnancy Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be. While it’s true that pregnancy can have its downsides, saying this to someone yearning for a child can come off as insensitive. For many, the potential struggles of pregnancy are worth the joy of bringing a new life into the world.
  3. Maybe You’re Not Meant to Be Parents Right Now. This notion of “everything happens for a reason” can be particularly painful. It implies a lack of validity to someone’s desire for parenthood, which can be incredibly discouraging.
  4. Have You Tried This Specific Diet or Supplement? While it’s great to explore healthful options, unsolicited dietary recommendations can feel overwhelming. If someone is interested in making lifestyle changes, they should consult with a healthcare professional rather than rely on casual advice.
  5. Perhaps You Should Just Stop Trying. This suggestion often goes hand in hand with the previous statement. The idea that “giving up” will somehow lead to pregnancy is unfounded and can feel invalidating to those who are deeply invested in their journey.
  6. I Get Pregnant Just by Thinking About It. Joking about fertility can backfire. While the intention might be light-hearted, such comments can intensify feelings of inadequacy for someone who is struggling.
  7. Adoption Is Always an Option. While adoption is a beautiful path for many, it is a significant decision that couples need to come to on their own terms. Suggesting it can be perceived as minimizing their current struggles.

Fertility challenges can be isolating, and those experiencing them often desire empathy and understanding rather than unsolicited advice. They want a supportive ear and a comforting presence. If you’re looking for more resources on this topic, check out this insightful article and consider resources like Make A Mom or Resolve for guidance on family building options.

The struggle with fertility is real and can be incredibly hard. If you are currently facing this journey, know that your feelings are valid, and you are navigating a significant challenge. You are strong, and no matter the outcome, you will be okay.

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