As a physician and a mother, I’ve observed a troubling trend among many moms: the tendency to downplay their achievements and contributions. Whether it’s a mom dismissing her homemade treats for a school event or a parent minimizing the juggling act of work, family, and personal life, this self-deprecation is all too common.
When a mother who has nurtured new life, endured the trials of labor, and provided sustenance to her child says, “Oh, it’s not that impressive,” it’s time to reevaluate. This behavior might stem from societal pressures, personal insecurities, or the misconception that humility requires us to belittle ourselves. However, we must remember that accepting compliments and acknowledging our worth are not acts of arrogance but rather vital components of self-respect.
One significant reason for this behavior is the belief that we do not deserve praise. Often, this mindset originates from childhood experiences where shame was prevalent. However, it’s crucial to realize that if one person doesn’t deserve recognition, then no one does. Every mother is equally deserving of acknowledgment for her hard work and resilience. Practicing acceptance of compliments—such as simply responding with, “Thank you, that’s very kind,”—can be a powerful step toward building self-worth.
Another reason we fall into the trap of self-deprecation is the confusion between humility and self-criticism. True humility uplifts others and does not require us to diminish ourselves. I remember a remarkable woman, Dr. Rachel, who, after delivering an inspiring lecture, received compliments with grace, saying, “Thank you. Your kind words mean a lot.” This not only validated her contributions but also encouraged others to feel valued.
Additionally, the fear of rejection can lead many to preemptively criticize themselves, thinking it will shield them from judgment. This strategy, however, only serves to diminish our self-esteem. Instead, we should treat ourselves with the kindness we extend to our friends and family.
For mothers, self-deprecation can send the wrong message to our children about the value of motherhood. We need to recognize that being a parent is both challenging and significant. By downplaying our experiences, we risk reinforcing the societal undervaluation of motherhood. Our children learn from our actions, so we must model self-respect and confidence.
So, let’s celebrate our accomplishments, big and small. When someone appreciates your efforts—whether in parenting, work, or creativity—embrace it. By acknowledging our strengths, we not only empower ourselves but also set a positive example for future generations.
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In conclusion, let’s stop underestimating ourselves and embrace our remarkable capabilities. Motherhood deserves respect and recognition—let’s give it the honor it deserves.