November 11, 2023
From the very start of motherhood, I was a bit of a perfectionist. I never resorted to bottle feeding; instead, I was determined to keep my little ones close, often feeling like they were practically glued to me. I embraced that chaotic time when I was perpetually exhausted, milk stains on my shirt, and a child nestled in my arms. I was a proud martyr, fully immersed in the daily routine of soothing, rocking, and carrying my little ones everywhere.
As they grew older, I found myself reminiscing about the past—longing for the days when my eldest was just 3 instead of 14, or wishing my youngest wasn’t zipping around but still cuddled in my lap. I was the quintessential overprotective mom, thriving on sleepless nights and a heart full of nostalgia.
But the dynamic has shifted as my boys have grown. Now at ages 14, 11, and 8, they’re in different stages of school—high school, middle school, and elementary. Though they still rely on me for countless things, I’ve started expecting them to take on more responsibility. When they don’t, my once gentle demeanor can quickly transform into one of frustration. “It’s time to shower, move it!” I’ll call out when they drag their feet. “Pick up your things!” has become a common refrain in our house.
It may seem selfish, but I’ve turned a corner in my parenting journey. I’m rediscovering my own identity and embracing this new chapter of life. Writing has become a passion, but it requires focus and time. Constantly nagging my kids takes away from the moments I could be enjoying my own pursuits.
I’ve realized I no longer need them to cling to me as they once did. While I still appreciate a good hug, I want them to be more self-sufficient so that I can reclaim some independence as well. Yes, there are moments filled with nostalgia, like when my oldest let go of his beloved stuffed animals, or the first time my youngest went to school without tears, but I’ve come to accept this change. I used to host playdates to keep my children close, but now I find I’m okay with them spending time at friends’ houses. I used to need their dependency; now I long for a little solitude.
I know I will miss the days when they’re always around, asking for simple favors like making an egg sandwich or locating their sports gear. I remember how lucky I was to be so actively involved in their lives. But for now, I just wish they’d pick up their mess!
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Summary
Motherhood evolves as children grow, shifting from a nurturing phase to one that encourages independence. While nostalgia can weigh on a mother’s heart, embracing change allows for personal growth and self-discovery, paving the way for a more balanced family dynamic.