I’ll never forget the moment I was 14 and discovered that my mother had been reading my diary. The feelings of anger and betrayal hit me hard, especially since I had just written an entry filled with teenage angst about my mother’s strict rules. Back then, in the early ’90s, I didn’t have social media or the Internet to voice my frustrations—I just had my diary, and now I felt completely exposed.
Fast forward to today, and as a parent to a pre-teen, I find myself in a similar situation regarding my son’s smartphone. The dilemma of whether to snoop or not has crossed my mind. Reflecting on my own experience, I’ve realized that there’s a compelling reason I’m inclined to take on the role of a digital detective: smartphones are not just devices; they connect my child to the world.
The Conversation About Smartphone Use
When we finally gifted my son his first smartphone, we made it clear that the device is owned by my husband and me. The conversation went like this: “This is your cell phone, but it belongs to your parents. You can use it for communication and entertainment, as long as you follow the rules we’ve set regarding school, activities, and commitments. I will periodically check the content on this phone. Remember, every text, Snapchat, and Instagram post may be viewed by me. If you’re uncomfortable with anything, maybe you shouldn’t post it. Your access to this device can be revoked if you don’t meet your academic responsibilities.”
By being upfront about my intentions, I framed my monitoring as a protective measure rather than an invasion of privacy. I want to ensure my son and his friends aren’t falling into trouble. Moreover, I’d rather have those critical conversations with him instead of letting his peers explain complex topics.
Trust and Influence
It’s not that I lack trust in my son; rather, my concern lies with the influence of others. Giving him unrestricted access to the vast realm of digital communication without guidance feels risky. After all, I don’t want him to follow in the footsteps of ill-fated public figures.
The Evolving Concept of Privacy
In this digital age, the concept of privacy is evolving. Kids can easily share their lives online with a simple click. However, if my son were to keep a handwritten diary tucked away, I would respect that privacy completely.
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, while I understand the feelings of betrayal that can arise from monitoring a child’s digital life, I believe it is a necessary precaution in today’s world. By establishing open communication and setting clear rules, I hope to guide my son through the complexities of technology while keeping him safe.