As I approach my 35th birthday, I can’t help but chuckle at the realization that being “uncool” is not only acceptable but downright liberating in your mid-30s. To illustrate this, I’ll share my birthday wishlist, which I recently presented to my partner and child—because why not celebrate this phase with a bit of humor?
Here’s what I asked for:
- A set of scented candles (I even sent a coupon for extra incentive)
- Two pairs of cozy moccasins
- Some delightful slipper booties
- A gift card for books (my true passion)
- A Lane Bryant gift card for new underwear
- A pop culture-themed item—perhaps a quirky pin or an amusing card that could grace my wall.
Sure, I genuinely want all of these things, but presenting them like a menu allows my family to choose one or two items to surprise me with. And yes, we’re planning a getaway to a “cabin in the woods” complete with a fireplace—how thrilling, right?
After articulating my wishlist and envisioning this cozy retreat, I realized I might as well be typing this from beyond the grave. It’s almost comical how mundane my life feels at times. Between maintaining my chin hair, sporting what can only be described as “granny panties,” and dealing with an ongoing foot fungus situation, I often find myself questioning how I got here. But honestly? I’m having a blast.
In my 30s, I’ve discovered an unexpected freedom in being uncool. I’ve always loved my comfy underwear, books are my sanctuary, and I’d win gold if lounging was an Olympic sport. I even added that pop culture item to appear more youthful, but let’s be real—most days, I feel like I’m staring into a rearview mirror, where my reflection seems much older than I actually am.
Just recently, while out at a bar with dancing, a staff member referred to me as “ma’am.” Instead of sulking, I hit the dance floor and embraced my role as the wise elder among the young crowd. I found myself starting a sentence with “back in my day,” only to conclude with a humorous observation about how our dance styles have changed.
And don’t get me started on the antics of those around me. During Beyoncé’s empowering anthem “Run the World (Girls),” I couldn’t believe the spectacle unfolding before me. Yet, I pushed through and enjoyed the night, reminded that at this age, I have no need to impress anyone. I have my favorite holey sweatpants waiting for me at home and a partner who adores me just as I am, quirks and all.
In fact, if I could fly a banner proclaiming my love for granny panties, I would, without a second thought. The notion that they signify a lack of desirability is an outdated myth, and I’d happily engrave that on my tombstone if I could.
So, as I prepare to welcome 35 and beyond, I think about what I truly desire: perhaps some laser hair removal for Christmas, but more importantly, the freedom to embrace the cozy, uncool aspects of this decade.
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In summary, being in your mid-30s means embracing the uncool with open arms. It’s a time for comfort, authenticity, and laughter, as we navigate through life’s quirks and challenges.