Updated: August 15, 2023
Originally Published: April 28, 2015
There’s something about nostalgia that can make us question our parenting choices. While I completely understand the idea that overly protective parenting can negatively affect both children and parents, I find it frustrating when people suggest that we should simply emulate past generations. Times have changed, and so have the realities of parenting.
Take, for instance, the popular narrative: “What would my mother do?” It seems to echo everywhere: “My mom never felt the need to entertain us or enroll us in costly summer programs. She just told us to get outside, and we did.” Back in 1985, it was perfectly fine for kids to roam the neighborhood unsupervised. Fast forward to 2023, and if I were to tell my 7-year-old to head outside for the day—drinking from the garden hose and relying on neighbors for lunch—someone might call the authorities. This shift in societal norms reflects a growing concern for child safety that didn’t exist three decades ago. You just don’t see groups of kids playing freely in the streets anymore.
The notion of simply telling kids to go outside is outdated. We must acknowledge that the landscape of childhood has evolved. The fact that I can’t let my child wander the neighborhood all day says more about our current environment than about my parenting style. Camps, daycares, and playdates are today’s equivalent of “go out and play with the kids down the street.” I don’t enroll my daughter in these activities out of a desire to pamper her; I do it because that’s where her friends are. That’s the reality of parenting in 2023.
I often yearn to give my child the same carefree childhood I enjoyed, but nostalgia can be a tricky thing. If we truly want to recreate a sense of community and adventure, perhaps we could gather with other parents to discuss how to foster a neighborhood where kids can play freely. We might even involve local law enforcement and supportive neighbors to ensure everyone is on board. However, the likelihood of finding such a perfect community, where kids can roam freely without supervision, seems slim.
Honestly, I’m much more inclined to adapt to the present day rather than invest my energy into recreating the past. My 7-year-old won’t be riding her bike around the neighborhood sans helmet like I did. Instead, she’ll be at sports camp or the Boys and Girls Club, where safety measures are in place. Different times call for different approaches, and I’m okay with that.
Let’s not pretend that simply sending our kids outside to play unsupervised is a viable option today. Creating an environment where children can roam freely would require a collective effort from the entire community, not just us parents.
And if you’re focusing all your efforts on replicating a 1985 childhood instead of allowing your child to thrive in the realities of 2023, it might be worth questioning who’s truly overthinking their parenting.
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In summary, while we may long for simpler times, we need to adapt our parenting strategies to fit today’s realities. It’s essential to embrace the changes rather than resist them and focus on providing our children with safe and engaging experiences in their own time.
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