Last Friday, like many Americans, I was taken aback by the leaked recordings of a public figure making horrifying remarks. I was filled with shock and disbelief; it kept me awake that night, and I spent the weekend reflecting on it—much like one cannot look away from a train wreck.
As a physician and a mother, my thoughts immediately turned to the alarming implications of such vulgarity, especially regarding how it affects young minds. It’s disheartening to know that someone with such a lack of respect for women could be so close to the presidency. What’s equally troubling is the justification many provide for these comments, dismissing them as “just locker room talk,” when, in reality, they illustrate blatant sexual aggression.
Throughout the weekend, my spouse and I avoided discussing the details around our child, using coded language to shield him from the crude aspects of the situation. However, my 10-year-old son had been following the election closely and had already formed opinions about this figure’s behavior, identifying him as a bully with prejudiced views.
It became clear to me that I needed to have an honest conversation with him—not only to nurture his interest in politics but also because these events are significant learning opportunities. That evening, I explained what had transpired without using any vulgar terms. I mentioned that the individual in question had made derogatory remarks about women and had spoken about exploiting his power to dominate them. I even touched on his comments regarding unwanted physical contact.
I didn’t need to use explicit language for my son to grasp the gravity of the situation. His immediate reaction was disbelief, followed by asking whether there would be consequences for such behavior. I explained that while there was some political backlash, true accountability seemed elusive unless there was concrete evidence of actual misconduct.
When he inquired if this person was still in the running for president, I had to deliver the unfortunate truth: yes, he was. The complexity of explaining all this led to a meaningful dialogue. We discussed the disturbing nature of these remarks and explored the lessons we could extract from this situation.
In those moments, I realized that this conversation was not just necessary but also an opportunity to reinforce the values I had been instilling in him—about respect for others, personal boundaries, and the importance of standing up against bullying.
Reasons to Discuss Inappropriate Comments with Your Kids
To other parents hesitant about discussing such sensitive topics, here are several reasons to engage your children in these conversations:
- Set the Narrative: Children often hear things from peers that can be misinterpreted. By discussing these issues with them directly, you ensure they have accurate information to form their opinions.
- Understanding Consequences: It’s vital for kids to see examples of how bullying behavior manifests in adulthood. The individual in question serves as a case study in what can happen when such behaviors go unchecked.
- Challenge Harmful Mentalities: I made sure to address the notion of “boys will be boys,” explaining how this mindset is not an acceptable excuse for inappropriate behavior. We explored examples from his school environment to illustrate this point.
- Teach Body Autonomy: Conversations about personal space and consent are essential. I have always emphasized to my kids that touching someone else without permission is unacceptable, and the same goes for them. Understanding bodily autonomy is fundamental.
- Encourage Open Communication: It’s crucial for children to feel they can approach us with any topic, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem. They should know they can share their experiences without fear of judgment.
The next day, I asked my son if he found our discussion valuable. His straightforward response was, “Yes.” When prompted to elaborate, he articulated a profound insight: “So that I will know what not to do.”
So, thank you to this public figure for providing a cautionary tale. Let’s hope parents everywhere use these examples to illustrate the importance of integrity and respect in our interactions, instilling values that stand in stark contrast to the behavior displayed.
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Summary
Discussing inappropriate comments with children is essential for fostering understanding and respect. Parents should set the narrative, highlight the consequences of bullying behavior, challenge harmful mentalities, teach body autonomy, and encourage open communication. Such conversations not only reinforce important values but also prepare children to navigate complex social issues.