There’s a common belief that if we don’t reward undesirable behavior, it will eventually improve. You know the sayings: “Don’t give in to your child’s tantrum!” “Don’t pretend to enjoy intimacy with a partner who’s lacking!” “Don’t acquiesce to your mother-in-law’s extended holiday visits!” We cling to this idea, especially when we’re younger and eager to avoid disappointing long-term commitments. We convince ourselves that with the right mix of incentives and consequences, we can mend all the imperfections in our relationships.
But honestly, that’s a bit of a fantasy. Some partners just aren’t great in bed, certain family members will always wield guilt, and toddlers will continue to throw tantrums. There are valid reasons to set boundaries, but expecting to transform someone fundamentally? That’s a different story.
Perhaps we embrace this myth to deflect attention from our own shortcomings. I remember as a kid, I would often forget to bring signed permission slips and missed out on fun school trips. I thought surely I’d learn to manage those tiny tasks better over time. Fast forward to now, and I found a pile of thank-you notes from five years ago that I had addressed but never sent.
Here’s an A to Z rundown of other areas where I still falter, despite countless attempts to improve:
- Anything Calendar Related
- Birthday Cards – buying them on time
- Conferences, Parent/Teacher Meetings – attending, even after meticulous planning
- Doctor’s Appointments – just getting to them
- Every ball sport – I mean, who can keep track?
- Fall Coats – acquiring and wearing them
- Grocery Lists – making them and sticking to them
- Hair Maintenance – let’s just say my hairdresser knows me well
- Insurance Companies – dealing with them is a nightmare
- Just making appointments – without a mini crisis
- Kids’ Social Activities – organizing them is a feat
- Long Grain Rice – somehow, I always burn it (even in a rice cooker)
- Moisturizing – it’s hit or miss
- Not spilling – I could win awards for clumsiness
- Oral Instructions – giving and following them is a challenge
- Period Anticipation – let’s not even talk about it
- Quick Name Recall – an elusive skill
- Routines – adapting to changes is hard
- Shoes – wearing them! (Picture me, bag and child in tow, at my parents’ place, realizing I have no shoes on a Tuesday morning in the city.)
- Turning off utilities – a simple task, but somehow I forget
- Umbrella – bringing it and remembering to take it back
- Voicemail – I just can’t keep track
- Weather – checking before leaving the house is a must, right?
- Tax Forms – like the night before closing on our new home when panic hits me about missing documents.
And let’s not forget yesterday’s “read” emails and the dreaded Zzzz (any kind of meeting). The truth is, no one is perfect, and even with the best intentions, we can’t excel at everything. Maturity might just be about recognizing these flaws without letting them define our overall competence.
In my younger years, I thought turning forty meant having it all figured out. Now, I realize it simply means I’m still navigating life’s little chaos—like misplaced paperwork, forgotten umbrellas, and so much more.
For those looking for support in their journey, check out this helpful resource on treating infertility and consider exploring this at-home insemination kit for a little extra assistance. And if you’re interested in more relatable stories like this, be sure to visit this post.
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