It has been nearly a decade since my first son was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder (SPD) by a dedicated team of therapists. Prior to that diagnosis, I was unfamiliar with SPD and felt engulfed by the chaos of family life. Many nights, I would collapse into bed, overwhelmed and defeated. However, today, our situation has transformed remarkably. My oldest son has transitioned from having severe SPD and a significant speech delay to being a lively fifth grader who loves to chat. My youngest son, diagnosed with SPD at just 18 months, has outgrown his symptoms.
Throughout the past several years, I have connected with countless families around the globe through my organization, SPD Support Network. Many of these families are just beginning their journeys and often echo my initial despair. I created SPD Support Network to ease their paths, providing answers and a glimmer of hope. Here are key lessons I’ve distilled from my experiences:
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Have Faith in Your Child
Children thrive when they feel supported by at least one person who believes in them. I always thought that if I didn’t believe in my kids, others wouldn’t either. It may be challenging at times, but hold on to that belief, no matter how dire the circumstances seem. Focus on their potential rather than their current challenges. Your unwavering belief will empower them to believe in themselves, setting the stage for extraordinary progress. -
Trust Your Instincts
Your intuition about your child is invaluable. While professionals like doctors and educators provide expertise, you are the foremost authority on your child. Don’t let others sway you from your instincts, even if their opinions are well-intentioned. Trust yourself and act on your feelings promptly. -
Find Your Community
The saying, “it takes a village to raise a child,” rings true. Connecting with others who understand your child’s experiences is crucial. It may take time to find the right support network, but once you do, it can transform your family’s journey. If you’re struggling to locate these resources, consider exploring the STAR Institute’s Treatment Directory for specialists in your area. -
Persevere
Progress isn’t always linear; some days may bring setbacks. It’s frustrating, and the urge to give up can be strong. However, remember that regression is often part of the learning process. Celebrate the strides you’ve made and continue moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time. -
Educate Yourself
Knowledge is a powerful tool. The more you learn about SPD, the better equipped you will be to support your child. Countless nights were spent researching SPD through various resources, including books and expert advice. Don’t hesitate to reach out to other parents, therapists, and educators. Their experiences can provide invaluable insights. For further reading, visit the Research Page and Library of the STAR Institute. -
Prioritize Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it is essential. The emotional toll of parenting a child with SPD can be immense. To effectively support your child, you must also recharge and maintain your well-being. Make time for yourself; it will pay dividends for your family. -
Engage with Their Interests
One of the most profound lessons I learned was to enter my child’s world. My daughter instinctively mirrored her brother’s actions, whether he was spinning or playing. This connection not only brought them joy but also built trust and understanding. Embrace their interests, and don’t hesitate to be playful—it fosters a sense of security. -
Empathize with Their Perspective
Understanding your child’s experiences can deepen your compassion for their struggles. Initially, I found it hard to comprehend my son’s aversions, but learning about SPD illuminated these challenges. Viewing life through their lens can enhance your patience and ability to support them. -
Ignore the Critics
Throughout my journey, I encountered many unsolicited parenting tips, often from well-meaning friends or family. It’s essential to filter out the noise and focus on what you know to be right for your child. Trust in your expertise and seek guidance from qualified professionals instead. -
Cultivate Gratitude
Shift your focus to what you have rather than what you lack. A positive mindset fosters resilience and growth. Regardless of your circumstances, there’s always something to appreciate. Remember, many would gladly trade places with you for your blessings.
Bonus Insight: Hope is Real!
In the early days following my son’s diagnosis, professionals described him as one of the most severe cases they had encountered. I was fearful for his future. Fast forward a few years—he now thrives in school, participates in sports, and has a vibrant social life. I share this not to boast but to illustrate that progress is possible. If we can achieve this, so can you!
As Joan Ryan beautifully said, “Motherhood is about raising the child you have, not the child you thought you would have.” Embrace the journey, and remember that you are not alone.
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Summary:
Parenting through sensory processing disorder can be a challenging journey filled with ups and downs. Key lessons include believing in your child and yourself, finding a supportive community, and prioritizing self-care. Understanding your child’s world while ignoring naysayers can foster resilience. Ultimately, hope and progress are attainable, and each small step forward counts.