As parents, we often find ourselves discussing the concept of judgment, and rightly so. If you’ve ever read news articles about parents who momentarily lost sight of their children or browsed through comments on various parenting topics, you know how rampant judgment can be. Unfortunately, it’s a reality we face. However, there are moments when parents feel judged even when that isn’t the case.
For instance, I’ve observed parents becoming defensive at the slightest mention of differing choices. A mother might express her preference for avoiding processed foods for her kids, prompting another parent to feel criticized for their own choices. Similarly, when one parent shares their joy in co-sleeping with their toddler, others may feel compelled to defend alternative bonding methods. It’s as if one choice invalidates another.
I can relate to this experience. When I mention that my family has chosen to home-school, I often encounter parents who feel the need to justify their decision to send their children to public school. Let me clarify: my decision to educate my children at home has absolutely nothing to do with your choices, nor do I judge you for them. Every family has unique circumstances, and it’s entirely possible for vastly different approaches to be equally valid.
I’ve also faced defensiveness regarding my extended breastfeeding journey. I’m not here to preach about my choices, nor do I think less of mothers who decide to wean earlier or choose not to breastfeed at all. The choices I make for my family are purely that—our choices. It’s entirely feasible for you to select an approach that contrasts with mine without me casting judgment on you.
What I choose for my children is not a commentary on how you parent yours. My husband and I make decisions based on what we believe is best for our family, and I trust you’re doing the same. As long as your choices aren’t harmful to your children, I truly don’t mind how you choose to parent.
That said, I acknowledge that some individuals share their parenting choices in ways that can come across as judgmental. It’s important to be mindful of how we present our philosophies, ensuring we’re not inadvertently casting judgment on others.
At the same time, let’s strive to extend grace to one another. We should avoid interpreting another parent’s choices as a reflection of our own. There are countless ways to raise healthy, happy children, and we shouldn’t get bogged down in how others do it. Let’s work on setting aside our defensiveness and instead celebrate the diverse ways people navigate parenting.
Ultimately, most parents are doing the best they can with the resources available to them. We’re all in this together, and harboring negative feelings only complicates the journey. I’ve got my paddle, you’ve got yours—let’s encourage each other and keep moving forward, each in our own unique way.
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Summary
In the world of parenting, judgment can often be misconstrued. It’s essential to recognize that differing choices do not equate to criticism. Every parent has their unique approach, shaped by individual circumstances. By fostering a culture of understanding and support, we can celebrate the diversity in parenting methods while focusing on what truly matters—the well-being of our children.