On a crisp November morning, I found myself kneeling down, examining my worn sneakers and slightly too-short pants. I absentmindedly ran my tongue over my braces and glanced to my left, assessing my competition. I was about to participate in my school’s annual Turkey Trot Run, and as a fifth-grader, I was finally among the contenders. I still remember the boy who had sat next to me throughout elementary school, squinting as he confidently stated, “I’m going to beat you.”
As we awaited our turn, nerves danced in my stomach. When I took that final corner of the race, the realization hit me—I was not just going to win the girls’ division; I was going to cross the finish line first overall. As I sailed across the line to the cheers of my friends, I felt an exhilarating rush at being first at something. To top it off, I won a frozen turkey and made it into the local newspaper. That moment still brings a smile to my face, even three decades later.
Now that I’m a parent myself, that memory resurfaces each year as award season approaches. Nowadays, it seems many parents are overly fixated on their children receiving accolades, and I’ve witnessed some disheartening behavior when parents react negatively to their child not being recognized. On the day I won my race, my peers didn’t grumble about not winning a turkey, nor did their parents undermine my victory by suggesting their children deserved to win more than I did. We participated, raced, celebrated the winners, and moved on without any bitterness.
When did we start shaming kids for receiving awards for their accomplishments? Recently, our middle school held an academic awards ceremony, inviting students who had excelled academically and demonstrated exceptional character. As soon as invitations were dispatched, the frustration from parents of uninvited students was palpable. Social media buzzed with complaints about unfairness, exclusion from school activities, and grievances about their children being overlooked. It was quite disheartening to witness.
Seriously? Is it now commonplace to complain because our children didn’t receive an academic award? We have become a generation of parents who demand fairness for all, adopting a “everyone gets a trophy” mentality. We argue with teachers over grades, confront referees about bad calls, and insist that our children deserve more time on the field. This helicopter parenting has reached a point where our kids may struggle to cope with feelings of rejection when they don’t succeed.
While I recognize that some children may never shine in sports or academics, can we collectively agree that there will always be someone who excels at something? There will always be a star athlete, a prom queen, or a valedictorian. And while it would be ideal for our children to embody all these roles, that’s simply not realistic. There will always be a child who captivates audiences with their singing or another whose athletic prowess leads them to the Olympics.
In the lead-up to the awards ceremony, the chatter of discontent did not subside. Some parents even suggested that the principal should abolish the ceremony altogether. It saddened me to witness mothers disparaging the achievements of others, especially since my son was among those honored. I take great pride in his accomplishments, and hearing negativity from other parents about an event he earned the right to attend felt deeply hurtful. When the big night arrived, we quietly attended, and although I shared photos of him receiving his award, my excitement was overshadowed by the complaints I saw online from parents struggling to accept that every child deserves their moment to shine.
My son may never be the star athlete, and I would never dream of feeling upset about him not being invited to a sports banquet. I would never suggest to another parent that my son deserves recognition for touchdowns he didn’t score. I understand that every child has unique gifts and talents, and it’s important to acknowledge those achievements. And while I wouldn’t complain to fellow sports parents, I might casually mention that my son comes from a long line of Turkey Trot champions.
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Summary
In today’s parenting landscape, many adults seem overly fixated on their children receiving awards, leading to negative behavior when their child is not recognized. This attitude diminishes the achievements of those who excel and fosters a culture where every child’s unique talents are not celebrated. It’s crucial to understand that while not every child can be the best, acknowledging their accomplishments is vital for their self-esteem and personal growth.