Parenting
Motherhood Is Challenging, But Keep This in Mind
by Emily Carter
September 16, 2016
Her little face captivates me, not as a 6-year-old, but as a tiny 2-year-old. She’s still just a toddler, and the look on her face mirrors another moment from the past, both captured in the bubbly warmth of the bathtub.
Let’s be real: motherhood is incredibly tough. The weight of maternal guilt is palpable. The struggle to maintain a relationship with my partner is genuine. The jokes about needing coffee and wine are only half in jest.
I’m grateful I didn’t fully grasp how demanding parenting would be — I might have hesitated to become a mother. I’m relieved I didn’t realize that children don’t easily adhere to sleep schedules, contrary to what many articles and seasoned parents might suggest. I’m thankful I didn’t know my patience would be tested beyond anything I could have envisioned. I’m also glad I wasn’t aware that the self-love and awareness I cultivated would be challenged by the very real pangs of mother guilt.
Yet, all those worries fade away as I watch her pour soapy water down her back with a cup from her tea set. In those moments, I forget about my body image, my limited workout time, and the rare occasions when I manage to use the bathroom alone. I’m transported by the sight of her sweet face as she plays with her bath toys.
I often feel a longing to turn back time and cradle her as an infant, free from the anxieties of what lies ahead or what won’t happen. But that’s impossible. So, I savor her 6-year-old self with gratitude.
I wish I could tell my new-mother self to prioritize rest and not to waste energy worrying about the future. But I can’t. Instead, I do what I can to care for myself now.
I want to remind myself to kiss my partner more often during those early days of learning how to balance being a mom and a wife, not to overlook our relationship just because our baby demands my attention. But I can’t turn back time. So, I show him love whenever I can, striving to juggle my affection for everyone special in my life.
I wish I could tell my first-time mom self that I don’t need to seek validation for my sacrifices. But I can’t, so I embrace the way my body has changed after two kids, accepting the beauty in this evolution.
I want to reach out to my second-time mom self and reassure her that it’s impossible to give the second child the same attention as the first without diminishing her love for either. But I can’t change the past, so I shower my second daughter with love in every way I know how.
I long to rewind and let go of chores when my daughters beckon to play. I wish I could have let the dishes soak longer and just played dolls instead. But I can’t go back, so I make an effort to play with them when they ask now.
I want to tell my past self that I did my best the first time around. I made the best decisions I could, even if hindsight shows me different ways. But since I can’t change the past, I acknowledge the things I did well while accepting my imperfections.
To all the mothers out there, you are loved. Some of the most important people in your life see the love and care you pour into your family. Take a moment to appreciate the unique world you’ve created within your home.
Though I can’t revisit the past to fully embrace each hug, smile, or milestone, the beauty of life is that there’s always more to anticipate — always more to cherish today.
As I witness my 6-year-old take her first steps into kindergarten and my toddler transition into a little girl, I recognize the vastness of what lies ahead and the abundance we already have right now.
My coffee often cools while I rush to catch the school bus or change a diaper, and my home may never be spotless. Nevertheless, the joys surrounding us are plentiful. Motherhood is undeniably difficult, but I’m thankful I didn’t know just how challenging it would be. Most of all, I wouldn’t want to relive those early days, as the journey has shaped us into who we are today.
Where we are now is as precious as cradling a newborn, filled with cherished moments that will linger in my mind. The chaos of my daughters’ play and the tender moments with my partner are ordinary yet beautiful experiences that I will one day reminisce about as fondly as the years that’ve flown by.
Motherhood is hard—really hard. Yet, this chapter of my life has taught me more about love and sacrifice than I could have ever imagined. I can’t rewind time, I can’t relive my experiences, and truthfully, I wouldn’t want to. Instead, I look into the eyes of my 6-year-old, who lovingly calls me “Mom,” and I pour all my love into my daughters, feeling the profound gratitude filling my heart.
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Summary
Motherhood is a challenging journey filled with moments of joy and struggle. The author reflects on the evolution of her experiences, emphasizing the importance of cherishing the present and acknowledging the love shared within the family. Despite the difficulties, she expresses gratitude for the journey and the lessons learned along the way.