I always imagined I would have daughters. I won’t claim that I envisioned a life filled with pink frills and glitter, but in my mind, I looked forward to nurturing fierce girls who would challenge the world — girls who would carry on the legacy of an empowered mother and perhaps one day surpass me. Then life took a turn, and I became the mother of boys. Yes, I’m that mother.
You know the type, right? (I can sense your eye rolls from here.) I’m the seemingly dull mom who insists that when discussing women over 18, we should refer to them as women. I’m the one who seizes every opportunity to highlight the differences in language when we speak about boys and girls. Sure, I might sometimes push the envelope a bit too far, but it’s a necessary conversation.
I’m the one who lectures them about the importance of respecting boundaries when someone says, “I don’t like that,” or “Please stop touching me,” even if my youngest is merely 8 and shows no inclination toward girls, boys, or even pets. Yet, I repeatedly emphasize, “Look at me when I’m talking. This is crucial. When someone asks you to stop, you need to stop immediately.”
I’m that mom who constantly shines a light on the achievements of women and girls. I’m teaching my sons to hold doors open for everyone, not just for women, because it’s not about being courteous; it’s about being respectful. I remind them that despite the biological differences between boys and girls, neither is superior to the other. You can’t determine someone’s gender by their hairstyle, clothing color, or personal interests.
I’m the mom who calls out stereotypes at every turn. I won’t let my kids engage with video games that objectify women. I’ve made it a point for them to understand menstruation, the purpose of tampons, and where babies come from. I’ve introduced them to the term “vagina” and, when the time is right, I’ll discuss how women experience pleasure too.
When my second-grade son began attending school dances, I sat down with him to discuss how to treat girls with respect, including what to do if a girl asked him to dance when he wasn’t comfortable. I’ve made it clear that laughing at or demeaning anyone is unacceptable, regardless of his own fears or lack of interest.
I’ve told them that if I ever catch them mocking a girl’s appearance, I’ll be furious. If I find out they’re belittling a girl, I’ll have no tolerance for it. Using derogatory terms? I’ll be right there to address it. I’m the mom who insists that phrases like “cry like a girl” are hurtful and inaccurate.
I’m the one who refuses to excuse aggressive behavior simply because they’re boys. I’m the one who engages in endless dinner conversations about women’s underrepresentation in history and society, quizzing them on landmark moments in women’s rights. Yes, I really am that mom.
I’m the one who will talk to them about sex, consent, and the importance of understanding that “no” means no. I’m the one who’s probably boring them with discussions about the vital roles women have played throughout history. I’m the one passionately advocating for equality and stressing that people should be valued for who they are, not their gender.
I’m not as concerned about raising my sons to be gentlemen; I want them to see your daughters as equals, as partners, as people. I’m that persistent voice, the one who continuously reminds them that girls can do anything boys can do, and vice versa — except for giving birth, of course.
Yes, I am that mom. The one who will bear the eye rolls and sighs if it means raising boys who will treat your daughters with respect and equality. I’m determined to cultivate men who prioritize creating a fairer, better world for everyone.
For more insights into the journey of parenting and home insemination, check out this interesting blog post. You can also learn about self-insemination from trusted resources like Make a Mom and Johns Hopkins Medicine.
Summary
In this article, Dr. Clara Jensen discusses her journey of raising feminist boys, emphasizing the importance of respect, equality, and understanding boundaries. She shares insights into conversations around gender roles, consent, and the achievements of women, all while navigating the challenges of parenting boys in a society filled with stereotypes.