Last night, I was jolted awake five times by my toddler and preschooler. The bed sheets were stripped for washing, bottles needed filling, and the carpet was mysteriously stained (I’ll spare you the details). Amidst the chaos, I was bombarded with requests for cuddles and a symphony of complaints. Who knew that dehydration and loneliness could feel so imminent between 2 and 5 a.m.?
Despite my best efforts to sleep early, I ended up with only a few fragmented hours of rest. Thankfully, the kids weren’t sick or teething; it was just one of those nights—exhausting and relentless.
What many parents don’t realize is that these sleepless nights can feel incredibly isolating. Even if you have a partner to share the burden, it often seems like the rest of the world is blissfully unaware of your struggles. The streetlights glow brightly, and it feels like your neighbors are sound asleep, their peaceful snores a stark contrast to your children’s persistent whining. In those moments, it’s easy to question your parenting: Why is this happening to me? Shouldn’t my kids be past this stage by now?
As a new parent, I often heard well-meaning advice: “This phase will pass,” they said, as if sleep deprivation was a temporary condition. I clung to those words like a life raft, but when you’re in the thick of it, they often feel like empty promises. By the time you realize this, you’re left feeling like a fire-breathing dragon—wild hair, smudged makeup, and morning breath that could knock out a horse.
The truth is, those who offer such platitudes may have either experienced relatively easy parenting (a rarity) or simply chosen to forget the chaos. What no one tells you is that parenthood itself is the real “phase,” and you’re already knee-deep in it. Tonight it may be fears of the dark, but soon enough it’ll be sleepovers, date nights, and other late-night escapades. Your college student won’t be coming home with a warm glass of milk at 9 p.m.; they’ll be out living their life, and you’ll still be awake.
While you may catch more sleep than you did during the early days, the unannounced nighttime wake-ups remain a challenge. The standard for what constitutes “normal” sleep changes over time. Three hours of uninterrupted sleep may have once seemed like a blessing, but as your body adjusts, anything less than six hours can feel devastating.
We tend to avoid discussing sleep issues in older children, too. The exhaustion lingers beneath the surface while we walk our kids to school, hiding our fatigue behind a brave face. Admitting to sleep struggles feels like admitting failure, but a quick online search for “why won’t my kid sleep at night?” will reveal you are far from alone.
And that’s the message you need to hear: You are not alone. Whether your children wake up frequently or only occasionally, it’s perfectly normal. If online communities provide a sense of solidarity, embrace them. Vent your frustrations when the door closes, enjoy a glass of wine at 2 a.m. if it helps, and most importantly, keep the conversation going. There’s healing in sharing these experiences.
So keep pushing forward, fellow parents. Parenthood is a wild ride filled with skinned knees, broken hearts, and yes, sleepless nights. Your journey is uniquely yours, and it’s okay to acknowledge that this is hard. For more resources on this topic, check out Make a Mom or Genetics and IVF Institute for valuable insights.
Summary
Sleepless nights are a common experience in parenthood that can feel isolating and exhausting. Whether due to fears, sleepovers, or other life events, the challenges of nighttime awakenings persist even as children grow. It’s important to communicate these struggles and seek support, knowing that this chaotic journey is normal and shared by many.