This past summer, after dedicating a decade to being a stay-at-home mom, I embarked on a part-time work journey from home. The structure of regular hours has been liberating, allowing me to focus on tasks outside of motherhood, achieve goals, and even earn some income. Surprisingly, the experience has been refreshing, providing me with a sense of accomplishment that I didn’t expect.
Yet, amidst this newfound freedom, guilt often creeps in. Am I truly a good mom? Am I dedicating enough time to my children? Will this summer slip by without us creating memorable moments together? Do they feel neglected? Why am I so hard on myself?
I find myself in a loop of frustrating self-critique. “Stop it! The kids are thriving, and you’re with them half the day. Remember the guilt you felt as a full-time SAHM? You worried about not utilizing your education, about your family’s finances, and whether you were doing enough. But maybe, just maybe, you were right to focus on being a mom at that time. Perhaps your children still need your presence…”
This internal dialogue spirals on, revealing the relentless nature of self-judgment that many moms face. Why are we so critical of ourselves? We’ve brought life into the world, nurtured our children, and tirelessly worked to care for them.
Every day, we prepare countless meals, clean up messes—both big and small—and provide comfort during tears and tantrums. We know our children’s eating habits, their moods, and even their bodily functions at an intimate level. We seem to possess an uncanny ability to sense when something is off, often before they even step through the door after school.
Even when we are apart, we remain connected, our minds filled with thoughts of their well-being. Yet, we often find ourselves questioning our capabilities as mothers, feeling inadequate despite our undeniable efforts.
It’s time we cut ourselves some slack. We deserve recognition for showing up and doing our best every single day.
Where Does This Negative Self-Talk Originate?
So where does this negative self-talk originate? Is it the constant comparisons on social media, or is it a deeper-rooted belief instilled in us from childhood that we must be perfect? Regardless of the source, it’s time to move past this mindset.
Listen closely, moms: You’re doing exceptionally well—better than you realize. Simply pondering your abilities as a parent indicates that you care deeply. Your love and effort radiate to your children, even when you’re physically apart, whether at work or elsewhere.
Embrace the fact that you are a remarkable mother. Shed the negative voices—both internal and external. Dismiss the unrealistic standards set by others and practice positive self-affirmations, no matter how cliché they may seem. Your children need to see a mother who values herself, and who recognizes her worth both as a parent and as an individual.
I understand that it can be overwhelming, and moments of doubt are inevitable. Yet, we always rise again, fueled by our love for our children. That love is our strength, guiding us even through the toughest days.
Let’s Lift Each Other Up
So, let’s commit to lifting each other up. I promise to silence my inner critic if you promise to do the same. Deal?
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In summary, moms, remember that you’re doing a fantastic job. Embrace your efforts, let go of guilt, and recognize your strength.