As a parent and a physician, I’ve seen firsthand how diverse children can be in their interests and abilities. Take my eldest son, Lucas, for instance. From a young age, he was more fascinated by stories than by toys. As a toddler, he delighted in identifying numbers and letters on flash cards. Now, at age 3, he astounds us with his knowledge of dinosaurs and marine life, passionately sharing facts about the differences between a T-Rex and a Triceratops, or what great white sharks prefer for lunch. Yet, in classic toddler fashion, he often insists on wearing nothing but his favorite superhero cape—pants are just not his thing.
Naturally, I find him remarkable; every parent believes their child has unique qualities. Friends and family often comment on Lucas’s intelligence, suggesting he might be “advanced.” But I have to admit, that label makes me feel uneasy. Here’s the reality: whether he is truly “gifted” or not is secondary. What really matters is that he is happy and curious.
So let’s take a moment to breathe. I just claimed it doesn’t matter if my child is labeled as “gifted” or particularly smart—and that goes for yours, too.
Many of us can recall school days when students were divided into “gifted and talented” programs, creating a divide between those considered exceptional and those deemed average. Fast forward to adulthood, and you might find yourself looking up old classmates on social media. The truth is, the distinction made back then often doesn’t correlate with future success. Some of those “gifted” kids may now be leading groundbreaking research, while others might be gaming in their parents’ basements.
Research shows that children identified as gifted often perform similarly to their peers who weren’t singled out. The myth that gifted students thrive only when surrounded by other high achievers has been debunked. The resources invested in these programs have not led to markedly better outcomes.
If I do recognize Lucas as “gifted,” what then? Will he still need to study for exams in high school? Will he still have to tackle complex literature like Beowulf? And should I pen an outraged letter to a college dean if he doesn’t get accepted into a prestigious institution, citing his early grasp of paleontology?
Then there’s my younger daughter, Mia, who just turned one. She’s still in the stage of exploring the world, which includes a fondness for dog food and an adventurous spirit when it comes to toilets. Perhaps she’s gifted, or maybe she’s not—it’s too soon to tell, and at this age, it doesn’t really matter.
I believe it’s crucial to treat both children equally, regardless of any perceived differences in intelligence. Our focus will be on providing both with opportunities to explore their interests and develop their skills. If one dreams of attending an Ivy League school, we’ll support that ambition. If the other wants to excel as a sign-spinner outside a furniture store, we’ll back that passion too.
The National Association for Gifted Children encourages tailoring learning experiences to fit each child’s unique abilities, which should be a priority for every child. Whether a child is facing challenges or simply needs more engagement, parents and educators can work together to foster an environment ripe for growth. Opportunities abound for all children, regardless of their starting point.
I firmly believe that perseverance is a more significant determinant of success than mere intelligence. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” I aim to emphasize, “You worked really hard on that.” After all, intelligence is often a matter of circumstance, so shouldn’t we celebrate effort and determination instead?
I often hear parents share their toddlers’ milestones, while others worry their kids are lagging behind. To all those parents, I say this with empathy: It truly doesn’t matter. Your awareness of your children’s progress reflects your dedication as a parent. With your guidance, I have no doubt that your kids will flourish.
In the end, every child is unique, possessing their own set of talents and abilities. Instead of labeling who is gifted, let’s celebrate the individual gifts that each child brings to the table.
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Summary:
This article emphasizes that labeling children as ‘gifted’ may not be as significant as parents think. It discusses the importance of treating all children equally, focusing on hard work over innate intelligence, and encouraging their unique interests. Ultimately, every child possesses their own gifts, and it’s crucial to celebrate those rather than compare them.