You know how sometimes your logical mind tells you to let something slide, but your fierce inner advocate just won’t back down? That’s me, living with this constant tug-of-war.
I am well aware of the love that surrounds me—from my partner and our children. I recognize my significance in our family unit. I contribute to our household in so many ways: preparing meals, getting the kids ready for bed, trimming nails, helping with teeth brushing (except after ice cream), doing laundry, and managing school drop-offs and pickups. I assist with homework, impart life lessons, create cherished memories, and build unique connections with each child. All of this, I believe, defines my role as a mother.
Our kids often refer to having three moms or ask if they can call me “Mom.” They even turn to “the other Mommy” when I’m not the one responding to their requests. They sometimes tell their friends, “I can’t do that, my mom says no,” even when they know they’re pushing boundaries.
But let’s be real—when your mom name is “Lila,” no one else gets it.
While I can embrace the reality that my feelings hold more weight than how others perceive us, my inner advocate refuses to be silenced.
She gets riled up when I hear, “Lila, can we play for five more minutes?” and bystanders assume I’m just a babysitter or a nanny. (Trust me, being asked if I’m the nanny in the beginning stung a little.)
My inner advocate blushes when I have to sign a permission slip or call the school and my name doesn’t match that of our children or my partner’s, leading to unnecessary verification.
She rolls her eyes when people question why I want to attend parent-teacher conferences or medical appointments.
And yes, she becomes downright indignant when someone gifts our child a shirt that says, “Mommy Loves You.” Guess what? Lila loves you too! But who’s making shirts that say that?
My rational mind knows it’s silly to argue with my partner over a “Mommy’s Little Angel” shirt selected for school the next day. It’s not about denying my partner—who is the biological mother of our children—the joy of dressing them in whimsical clothing. It’s about the fact that those moments will never be mine.
I fully appreciate the unique opportunities I have as “Lila,” and I’m immensely grateful for them. So, I assure you, these moments of righteous indignation are rare and fleeting, but I’d be dishonest if I claimed they don’t exist.
So, children, if years from now you want to decorate your graduation cap with “Lila Loves You,” I will cheer you on. My inner advocate will celebrate with more enthusiasm than you’ve ever seen from me, and yes, it might just embarrass you in that classic ‘mom’ way.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
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In summary, while my identity as “Lila” may not align with traditional expectations of motherhood, my contributions and the love I share with my family affirm my value. Embracing this unique role, I recognize that my worth goes beyond a name.