Today, I discovered that one of the best choices I made was to occasionally ignore my toddler. Yes, I know he’s just two years old, still relying on me for meals, dressing, and even bathroom trips. While I am dedicated to being his primary caregiver, I found that stepping back was a surprisingly effective strategy.
Now, before anyone jumps to conclusions about my parenting, I want to clarify that my little one has only celebrated two birthdays. I was within earshot, just a room away. Like many days, my son wanted my undivided attention. Initially, it’s heartwarming to feel so needed, but after countless pleas, it can become overwhelming. By mid-morning, I felt drained, lost amid toys and responsibilities.
Frustration crept in, evident in my tone and sighs. I defaulted to the usual phrases: “In a moment,” “You have plenty of toys,” “Just let me finish this,” and “You need to be a little patient.” Naturally, my son didn’t heed my responses and continued to seek my engagement. This left me feeling guilty—was I failing as a mother? Was he interpreting my actions as a lack of love or interest?
As a mother of three, I thought I had grasped the nuances of parenting, but my youngest child often makes me question my approach. I want my kids to feel loved and happy, but I’ve realized that happiness is ultimately an internal journey. It’s my responsibility to guide them, not to fulfill every need for amusement.
Taking a moment to truly listen to my son, I recognized that his requests were not just for my company but rather for me to entertain him. Being the youngest, he is accustomed to following the lead of his older siblings, thriving in their organized play. When they’re away at school, he expects me to fill that role.
After spending some quality time with him, I made a conscious decision to let him explore on his own. When he asked me to play, I gently reminded him that he could either help me with my tasks or find something to do independently.
Then something remarkable happened: I noticed, after just a few minutes of unstructured time, he became entirely engrossed in imaginative play. The contentment radiating from his face was a revelation—not just a fleeting smile, but a deeper sense of joy as he entertained himself. He had discovered happiness without my direct involvement, and in that moment, I realized I wasn’t failing as a mother after all.
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In summary, allowing my toddler some independence not only fostered his creativity but also reminded me that it’s okay to step back and let children explore their own joys.