When my fashion-savvy daughter received a $40 gift card to DSW for her 13th birthday, I sensed a potential confrontation brewing. For the past two years, we had been at odds over the suitability of high heels—she was all for them, while I had my reservations.
A few weeks later, during a seemingly peaceful trip to DSW for back-to-school sneakers, she swiftly selected a pair of Nikes. My husband and son, oblivious to the impending drama, headed toward the checkout. But before they could make it, I found my daughter sprawled on the floor of the clearance section, strapping on five-inch cork wedge sandals adorned with thick black straps and shiny gold buckles.
“Don’t say a word!” she grinned mischievously upon spotting me, a dreamy look on her face. I held back the urge to help her up as she gracefully rose and made her way to the mirror, beginning her transformation.
This wasn’t our first encounter with towering heels. When she was 11, my sister gifted her a pair of eye-catching six-inch peep-toe stilettos, which left our daughter overjoyed. My husband shot me a bewildered look when I confessed that I had approved the gift in advance.
“I love them! I look amazing!” she exclaimed the next day, clicking around our hardwood floors. “I’m wearing these to dinner tonight!”
“No, you’re not,” my husband and I responded in unison.
“Convince me why not!” she insisted with a flair for negotiation. When our arguments about safety and appropriateness fell flat, we resorted to vague notions of “cheap” and “wrong impressions,” even mentioning the unfortunate connotations of “ladies of the night.”
Honestly, I grappled with my own feelings on the matter. While I didn’t want my daughter leaving the house in something resembling stripper heels, I struggled to articulate a solid argument against them. After all, she wasn’t going out naked, and it wasn’t illegal—just high heels, right?
Eventually, I relented when my husband deferred the decision to me. She wore those heels out twice: once to dinner and once to a play in the city. While she received a few puzzled glances, the majority of feedback came from supportive women who admired her confidence, even when she admitted the shoes were slightly uncomfortable—yet worth it.
Fast forward two years, back in that same DSW clearance aisle, my husband asked, “Are you really going to allow her to buy those?” I remained silent, and he left the store.
Later, I explained to him that I said yes because I could see the joy radiating from her as she admired her reflection in the mirror. She was envisioning her future self, full of possibilities, and exuding confidence.
I also said yes because she had often expressed frustration about feeling too old for childish things but too young for adult experiences. Those cork wedges, in her eyes, represented hope that she wouldn’t remain stuck in limbo.
Moreover, it was her birthday money, and she deserved the freedom to make her own choices.
Admittedly, walking alongside my 13-year-old in five-inch platforms made me feel a bit self-conscious. I couldn’t help but wonder what other parents might think or if they were judging me for letting her wear such striking shoes.
On the bright side, she was always proud of her uniqueness, often going against the grain—just like how she refused to read the Harry Potter series because everyone else was so captivated by it.
The best part? Strolling beside my suddenly 5-foot-10 teen, we share laughter as she occasionally reaches for my shoulder to steady her balance. I feign a serious expression as she throws her arm around me, making us both chuckle.
We recognize the layers beneath this seemingly trivial situation—the outrageousness of it all and how ultimately insignificant it is. This shared experience has strengthened the bond between this mom and her teenage daughter.
For more insights into navigating parenthood, you can read about the journey of home insemination at Intracervical Insemination. If you’re curious about the tools for self-insemination, Make a Mom provides excellent resources. Additionally, for further information on pregnancy, check out ASRM, which offers valuable guidance.
Summary
Allowing my daughter to wear high heels at 13 sparked a mix of emotions and conversations about appropriateness, confidence, and self-expression. Ultimately, I chose to embrace her choices, seeing them as a stepping stone in her journey toward adulthood.