Dear Men,
I want to clarify that my intention is not to tarnish your reputation or to overshadow the good deeds of many. I have wonderful male friends, supportive family members, and colleagues who have been there for me during difficult times. I have personally experienced the kindness of men, such as when I was once saved from a dangerous situation by a stranger. I am thankful for the positive influence of good men in my life.
However, I am reaching out to you because your help is crucial.
Every time I turn on the news, I am met with yet another disturbing report of violence against women. Whether it’s a jogger enjoying a sunny day, a young girl on her way to a friend’s house, or a woman heading to her car, the message is clear: we are not safe, no matter where we are.
Recently, I came across comments on an article discussing the tragic stories of women who were attacked while jogging. The responses often suggested that if women simply carried weapons, we could prevent these incidents. This perspective shifts the responsibility entirely onto women, which is not only misguided but deeply concerning.
If you hold this belief, we have a lot of work ahead of us.
Day in and day out, I have to be concerned for my safety. I encounter unwanted attention—whether it’s leering glances or inappropriate comments—from men of all walks of life. Even while walking with my children, I have faced unwelcome stares from men much older than me. If you think this perception is exaggerated, consider that every woman I know has faced similar experiences.
From the age of 10, I started to experience harassment. By 11, I faced unwanted touching, and at 18, I nearly became a victim of abduction. It is a reality that haunts many women, causing sleepless nights worrying about things like locked doors and secured windows.
Women everywhere live in a constant state of vigilance, often losing precious sleep due to anxiety about potential threats. We’re reminded by our partners to learn self-defense or to prepare for the worst-case scenario. Safety tips are readily available, yet they are often tailored to women, ignoring the fact that men rarely receive such advisories.
The core issue is not about personal safety tips or self-defense training. Rather, it centers around the profound question: Why must we live in fear? This situation is unjust, and it shouldn’t be our reality.
Men, you may perceive us as overly cautious or think these events are infrequent, but I encourage you to engage in honest conversations with the women in your life—mothers, sisters, friends. Listen to their stories. The truths they share might astonish you and reveal the harsh injustices we endure.
After listening, it is vital to take action. Speak to your fathers, brothers, friends, and colleagues. Share what you’ve learned and encourage them to listen with empathy. Stand together with us to dismantle the pervasive culture of victim blaming and violence against women. Every woman deserves to live in a world free from the constant fear of attack.
It’s not just about figuring out how to protect us; it’s about recognizing that we should never have to seek protection at all.
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In summary, the responsibility to change the narrative surrounding violence against women lies with all of us. Men must take an active role in listening, learning, and advocating for change. Together, we can create a safer environment for everyone.