Recently, a conversation with a fellow parent revealed that her 10-year-old son has an Instagram account. Typically, we share similar views on parenting, so I was taken aback. When I probed further, she assured me that she has established rules and privacy settings to safeguard her child. They’ve talked about appropriate online behavior and internet safety, and she feels confident in his judgment.
But here’s my take: kids under 13 should steer clear of social media. There, I said it.
Gone are the days when children had to navigate the house to find a phone that wasn’t attached to a cord for privacy. As a parent of a tween and a teenager, I understand the pressure of keeping up with platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. I’ve had countless discussions with my kids about the potential dangers of online interactions, texting etiquette, and making smart choices in this digital age. Thank goodness Snapchat wasn’t around during my college years! I trust my kids, but I’m not ready to throw them into the social media frenzy just yet.
I’ve encountered numerous parents who think I’m overly conservative. They argue that with proper supervision, social media can serve as a valuable learning tool. “Just monitor what they’re doing!” or “Make sure you’re connected to them online so you can keep an eye on things!” they say. Friends insist that my kids are missing out on essential social experiences and that I should relax my rules.
But my answer remains a firm no.
Even though I could impose strict privacy measures on my children’s accounts, the reality is that I know what I post online, and I don’t want them—or your 11-year-old for that matter—exposed to it. There’s no need for my 10-year-old to see questionable selfies taken by her friend’s mom during a vacation or the inappropriate meme my brother shared about bodily functions. Frankly, she’s too young for platforms like Facebook, and since I can’t control the content she might stumble upon on Instagram, I’ll continue to say no to her having an account.
Let’s be clear: I’m an adult who enjoys a bit of humor that may not be appropriate for children. I vent about my kids on social media. I post sarcastic captions and share memes that might ruin the magic of Santa Claus for unsuspecting children. I don’t want to censor my online presence just so your child can scroll through my photos without a clue about what they represent.
I’m not taking on the burden of monitoring what I say online because your child is trying to befriend me on social media.
I understand that I might come off as a bit strict, but I refuse to compromise my online authenticity just to keep a child from learning about life too soon. I love being candid online, sharing everything from parenting woes to the occasional cocktail photo. I mean, do you really want to have to explain why I’m on a countertop with a pink boa? Let’s not even go there.
The reality is, I have plenty of adult friends I can connect with on social media, sharing the ups and downs of parenting and everything in between. I’ve created a space for myself online, where I can express my thoughts freely. If a child follows my accounts, I kindly remind their parents about the nature of the content I share. If they don’t remove their child, I’m not afraid to take action. Sorry kids, this isn’t a family-friendly zone.
In short, I don’t need to engage with school-aged kids online, especially when I have my own children to deal with in the house. While I may not have the luxury of privacy in the bathroom, I can certainly vent about it on Twitter without a young audience.
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In conclusion, I stand by my decision to decline friend requests from young children. It’s not about being strict; it’s about maintaining a space where I can express myself freely and authentically.
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