Dear Observant Diner,
You likely don’t recall our brief encounter, but your judgment was unmistakable. As you turned to your partner and remarked, “We would never allow our children to disengage with electronics during a family gathering,” I felt the weight of your words. In that moment, it was clear: you would never allow your hypothetical children to act as mine do. I imagine you continued your day without a second thought about the child engrossed in a screen at brunch.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’ve voiced similar opinions myself in the past, back when I was merely planning for future children and hadn’t yet experienced the reality of parenting. That was before I realized that one of my children is on the autism spectrum, a revelation that came with its own set of challenges and surprises.
When you see a child absorbed in a phone, I see so much more. I see a little boy who struggled this morning just to get dressed, battling the discomfort of clothing that feels restrictive to him. You might observe a child ignoring his family, but I see a child who reluctantly participated in family photos, climbing and jumping in an attempt to ease his anxiety about the day ahead.
While you view a child disinterested in his meal, I recognize the hours of waiting he endured, only to be met with food that was unfamiliar and intimidating. He could eat it, but the newness of the dish is daunting. So, yes, he turns to his screen while waiting for the comfort of familiar food back home.
You might think he’s shutting out social interactions, but in reality, he’s doing a remarkable job of managing overwhelming stimuli. Each moment is a delicate balance for him, and the phone provides just enough distraction to keep him from feeling completely overwhelmed by the world around him.
So, next time you see a child engrossed in electronics during a family meal, remember that while your future children may embody your ideal vision, the child at the next table could be navigating a complex world in his own way. Zoning out isn’t a sign of disrespect; it may just be his method of coping.
Sincerely,
A Grateful Mother
As a physician, I encourage everyone to consider the nuances of parenting, especially in situations like these. For more insights on family planning and the complexities of parenting, feel free to explore this resource on fertility treatments. And if you’re interested in at-home insemination methods, check out this guide on home insemination kits.
In our journey of parenthood, it’s essential to approach each situation with empathy and understanding.