“She’s left home (We devoted our time) / Pursuing her dreams (We invested our love) / Off to college” —The Beatles
“The thrill is gone / I must learn to cope / The thrill is gone / I’d do anything to have her back” —Hall & Oates
“Gone like a distant memory” —Montgomery Gentry
The girl has taken flight.
She’s off to college, settling into her high-rise dorm in a bustling section of her sprawling D1 campus. The number of students on her floor might even surpass her entire graduating class.
Brimming with excitement, she’s ready to make her mark on the world, and honestly, no one who knows her is surprised. She spent her last summer here like a fleeting shadow. Juggling three jobs, I often went days with only the lingering scent of her shampoo wafting through the house. Looking back, I realize it was perhaps fate nudging me to adjust to her absence.
She has been restless, her desire to break free growing at a frenetic pace. By the time the last embers of her graduation celebration faded, she was eager to escape our small town. I completely understand; she is, after all, her mother’s daughter.
I waited a couple of days after moving her in before daring to enter her room. Honestly, I could’ve used a steam cleaner or a bulldozer—every mother of a teenage daughter knows what I mean. It was a disaster. I held my tongue during the final weeks of summer, hoping to avoid any conflicts. Departure day was stressful enough, so I allowed her room to devolve into what looked like a post-apocalyptic scene.
As her final night at home ticked away, I noticed her anxiety ramping up—evidenced by the frantic “Where’s my insurance card?!” followed a mere ten minutes later by the barely audible, “Oh, there it is.” This happened several times.
She left in a whirlwind of excitement, ready for a new chapter; it was everything the narratives describe—bittersweet and filled with an eagerness on both sides.
Having sent my eldest son off to military training a few years back, this wasn’t my first experience with a child leaving home. His departure was different; while she exhibits restlessness, he was more reckless. On the day he arrived safely at boot camp, I slept better than I had in years. (Every mother of a wild teenage boy can relate.) So, I know the ache of missing my children.
Interestingly, my excitement for her journey tempers the pain of her absence more than I anticipated. She checks in frequently—more than she did when living at home—sharing details about her experiences and reveling in the “grown-up” life she has long desired.
I am fully aware this will eventually come back to haunt me when she returns for winter and summer breaks. The “Rules? What are those?” discussions are bound to surface. Fun times are ahead…
In the meantime, I embrace the quiet evenings without rushing around like a madwoman searching for my comb, cream, mascara, or those beige cork-heeled sandals (which are undoubtedly in her dorm room).
For now, there are no damp towels strewn across the floor.
Yet, I miss our movie nights watching Rock of Ages every time it pops up on cable. It tugs at my heartstrings to realize there’s no need to order special vegetarian dishes for takeout anymore. And I’m definitely not inhaling her expensive shampoo scent—Old Spice and Axe now fill the air instead.
But I remind myself she’s only away for a bit. And I miss her—immensely.
As I wrapped up this reflection, another text arrived: “I miss you guys.”
Perhaps all that teenage angst has subsided. Maybe she heard a nostalgic ’80s song and thought of me. Or perhaps, after seeing my picture, she feels a little thrill at the prospect of returning to her tidy room this Thanksgiving.
Regardless of the reason, I’m saving that text.
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Summary:
In this heartfelt reflection, Dr. Emily Carson shares her emotions as she navigates the bittersweet transition of sending her daughter off to college. Although she misses her daughter dearly, she finds joy in her excitement for new experiences and cherishes their ongoing communication. The article captures the essence of motherhood, the challenges of growing independence, and the enduring bond between parent and child.